


no strings attached

by clexaclub



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 37,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23547880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexaclub/pseuds/clexaclub
Summary: Lexa had not been in a serious relationship in over ten years. She traveled the country as a representative for her father's multi-million dollar company and met plenty of beautiful women along the way.Clarke had been married and divorced before she turned twenty. Now she's a struggling artist living in New York who refused to be tied down again.The two women meet at an art gallery opening. Sleeping together that night was inevitable. Sleeping together the next weekend was unexpected. They decided it could only work if there were no strings attached.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 272
Kudos: 699





	1. Chapter 1

Lexa Woods took her key from the pretty, young woman at the front desk with a flirty smile. The woman behind the hotel counter blushed. Lexa doubted the woman was gay or even bisexual. She just had that effect on people. Lexa had slept with many _straight_ women. In her opinion and experience, straight was a loose term. It did not take much for Lexa to impress and seduce a woman if she tried. Some of the instances she was not proud of, but she rarely regretted a sexual encounter. There had been a few instances when the women she slept with had offered to leave their husbands for her which was flattering, but a very stupid decision on their part. 

Relationships were not Lexa’s thing and they had not been for ten years. She preferred casual to serious. It did not make sense to her why someone who choose the stress of a serious relationship over something fun and casual. The women she slept with never expected her to remember their birthdays or insisted Lexa buy them flowers. She never had to have the awkward morning after where they sipped coffee and _talked_. Lexa was gone by time the women woke up. There was no point in getting their hopes up by staying. There were only a few women that she had slept with more than once. Those casual relationships usually ended once they found out Lexa was still sleeping with other people. 

Tonight was the perfect night for Lexa to pick someone up. She was only in this town for one night before her flight left in the morning. Lexa would never run into the woman again and be forced to lie about her reasons for never calling to ask her on a proper date. She took a long shower, fixed her hair, and got dressed before leaving the hotel. She could feel the woman behind the desk staring at her as she walked out of the lobby. 

There was a decent enough looking bar close by. It did not take long for a woman to approach her, but she was not Lexa’s type. Not that Lexa was picky. But this woman was way too desperate. It was a turn off. Lexa liked confident women. She liked beautiful women who knew they were beautiful. Lexa could always tell the straight women from the gay women by the compliments she gave. Straight women were not used to be told so bluntly that they were attractive. Men, in her experience, did not compliment their women enough. Gay women knew how to take compliments. Gay women did not get overwhelmed and embarrassed by Lexa simply calling them ‘gorgeous.’ 

Finally, an attractive woman made eye contact with her across the bar. For the first time in a while, Lexa did not have to make the first move. Honestly, she liked making the first move. It was a power thing for her. Women usually knew right off the bat how their night together was going to go. Some women called Lexa power hungry. Lexa just thought of herself as knowing exactly what she wanted. 

“Hi,” Lexa said when the women sat down in the stool next to hers. 

“Hi,” the woman replied. Her smile was bright but cocky. 

“I’m Lexa,” she said, turning her stool so they faced each other. “What’s your name?” 

“Hailey,” the woman replied. 

Lexa noticed the woman’s shyness was a flirtatious move. Lexa doubted this woman was actually shy. They took a cab to Hailey’s apartment after Lexa made up some lie about her own apartment being under construction. It worked every time. No woman wanted to be woken up at five in the morning to the sound of drilling. Lexa never invited women over. They normally wanted to stay the night and that was simply not an option. 

Hailey’s apartment was small but in an expensive part of town. Lexa wondered what she did for a living. She never asked personal questions like that because it would lead to Hailey thinking that Lexa cared. Just because she was curious about her career does not mean she wants to know about her childhood pets or her hopes and dreams. 

They were in her bedroom before Lexa had time to notice anything else. Lexa appreciated this woman’s efficiency. She was sometimes offered a drink which she would politely refuse before asking where the bedroom was. Lexa was only there for one reason. Lexa also appreciated this woman’s confidence in her own body. It made things easier. Lexa decided that this woman was definitely gay. 

* * *

Two hours later, Lexa was feeling less tense. She glanced over at Hailey to find her asleep on the other side of the bed. Lexa slowly moved the comforter off her body and stood. She grabbed her clothes before sneaking out of the bedroom. Lexa dressed in the hallway, grabbed an apple from the bowl in the kitchen, and left the apartment. 

Instead of catching a cab, Lexa decided to walk. The city was still alive despite the early hour of the morning. Her phone was probably overloaded with calls and texts, but she planned to ignore them until after she slept. Most were probably from her father anyway. He stayed up late working almost every day and Lexa had not sent in her weekly reports yet. 

Lexa liked working for her father’s company. She could get away with almost anything. Her dad ignored most of the problems Lexa caused and her co-workers were too scared to tattle on her. Daniel, Lexa’s father, was a scary man by all standards. He was rich, influential, and physically large. 

Daniel Woods owned a tech company. He started it from scratch before Lexa was born and, by time she came around, it was very successful. Lexa grew up with so many nannies that she had stopped learning their names by the age of six. Her mother had passed away a few days after giving birth to Lexa. 

Working for her father gave her the freedom to travel like she always wanted to do. Growing up, Lexa knew she would work for and eventually inherit the entire company since she was an only child. She remembered being so jealous of the female reps when she was young. Representatives had the job of traveling to companies and trying to sell their products. The reps were always attractive and that was for a good reason. Men and women alike were easily influenced by beautiful women. When Lexa walked through a company’s lobby, people noticed. 

Every deal Lexa closed, she received commission for. Her father sent her company names and addresses every week. Lexa spent most of the week traveling to close deals with those companies in person. Normally, Lexa was home by Saturday morning. She stayed home for a day and typically flew out again the following Sunday night. It was a good schedule for her. It kept her busy and she never had a shortage of beautiful women to keep her company. 

A loud muscle car broke her from her thoughts. She bit into the apple stolen from the woman’s apartment whose name she was having a hard time remembering right now. Lexa was glad to be flying home tomorrow. She had a meeting with her father and some of his employees at noon. There were about ten other representatives for PaTech who would be there, too. 

Lexa made it back to her hotel and was sad to see the pretty check-in girl from before was gone now. She took the elevator up to her room, checked her flight departure time for the morning, and then took a hot shower. She avoided the hundreds of emails and texts as she set her phone alarm. After twenty minutes of lying awake, she grabbed a pill from the bottle in her overnight bag and swallowed it down without water. Lexa was able to fall asleep ten minutes later. 

* * *

“You closed the paper supplier deal?” Daniel asked the next afternoon. 

Lexa was sitting across from him with her feet on his desk. Her flight had arrived early, so she had gotten to have a few mimosas at her favorite brunch place near her apartment. Now she was feeling a bit loose and less stressed about being near her father again. Lexa loved her dad, but he had a domineering way of stressing her out sometimes. 

“A few days ago, yeah,” Lexa replied. 

“Good,” he said. “I’ll have someone call and confirm their orders. You got a lot done this week, Lex.” 

“Well, you had like ten companies on the list,” she said, rolling her eyes. 

“I knew you could handle Leigh’s workload, too,” Daniel said. “She’s on vacation this week.” 

“I guess it wasn’t too bad,” she said, leaning back in the chair. “The Chicago law firm was a nice touch.” 

Daniel smiled at that. “I knew you’d appreciate that one,” he said. “I need you to do me a favor though. There’s a gallery opening tomorrow. Rob Barter will be there. I need you to work your magic on him.” 

“A man?” Lexa complained. 

“You do it all the time, darling,” Daniel reminded her. 

“What do you even want from him?” Lexa asked. 

“He owns a construction company,” her father explained. “I want him to pilot our new engineering program. You know all the rules for that. No one else does.” 

“Fine,” she said. “Do I have to wear a dress?” 

“Yes, Lexa,” Daniel said. He was grinning though. “Charge it on the card.” 

Lexa laughed as she stood from the chair. “Don’t worry about that, daddy,” she said, shooting him a look before closing his office door behind herself. She could hear his chuckle through the heavy wood anyway. 

The other female representatives were sitting in the conference room when she arrived. They all stopped talking when Lexa walked into the room. She secretly enjoyed the power she had over them. 

Daniel joined them a little while later and pulled up some charts. It was an annoying thing he sometimes did. Lexa, of course, had closed the most sales this month. She could practically feel their jealousy coming off them in waves. Instead of saying anything, they all just glared at her any chance they got. Her father released them to go home and enjoy their weekends before flying out tomorrow evening. 

When she unlocked the door of her apartment ten minutes later, Anya was cooking something by all the smells that hit her immediately. She saw the steam and smoke from the foyer. 

“Please tell me you’re making something I like,” Lexa shouted. She slipped off her shoes and laid them beside her roommate’s. 

“I’m testing a new cut of beef,” Anya replied. “You want a one pm steak?” 

“Yes,” she replied. 

Lexa fell back on her couch and turned the TV on. Anya brought her a plate a few minutes later. She had on an apron from the restaurant she was the head chef of. Lexa smiled as she laid the plate on her lap. 

“Thanks, babe,” Lexa said. “You spoil me.” 

“Yes, I’m fully aware of that,” Anya said. “How was your trip?” 

“It was good,” she said. 

Anya went back into the kitchen. At first, Anya was just someone who watched the apartment during the week while Lexa was gone but then Anya’s apartment building burned down. Lexa had offered her to stay here until she found a new one. That was over two years ago. In that time, Anya had really made a name for herself. She was the head chef at a new restaurant in the city that was quite popular. She had been specifically asked to take the job by the owner. 

“Close a lot of sales?” Anya asked, taking a seat on the couch with her own plate. 

“A fair amount,” she said. “No more work talk. Let’s watch that new Jurassic Park movie.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke Griffin stared at the new beautiful painting hanging on the gallery wall and wished she was that talented. She worked for the gallery’s owner, as a personal assistant, which meant she was constantly surrounded by breathtaking art. ‘ _ My  _ _ paintings _ _ will never be as good as this _ ,’ Clarke thought. Alie entered the gallery in eight-inch heels and tight red dress. Just the sound of the heels against the concrete floor was enough to give Clarke anxiety. 

“Good, you’re here,” Alie said. “Call  Niylah and see if her pieces will be ready by tonight. Don’t take no for an answer. You’ll drive to her house and pick them up yourself if she needs it.”

Clarke was not excited to drive to  Niylah ’s house if she needed to. Soho might not be far from the gallery in Manhattan, but all she wanted to do tonight was grab Chinese and go home. But if Alie wanted her to do something, there was nothing Clarke could do to get out of it. Clarke needed this job. It was perfect for her. She got to be around art, which she loved, and she met influential people in the art world. Clarke also got to attend all the best gallery openings. 

The gallery opening tomorrow was going to be one of the most important events  Clarke had ever been a part of. She had spent an entire month’s paycheck on a gown and heels. Alie had been extra demanding this past week from the stress of it all. On a normal  workday , Alie stressed Clarke out but this was a new level of stress. 

Clarke texted  Niylah about her pieces. If she could avoid talking to the woman on the phone, she fully intended on taking that route.  Niylah was nice, but she was very eccentric. Clarke would have to carve out an hour of her day if she had to go to the woman’s house.  Niylah was not likely to stop talking to her if she showed up tonight. It did not help that they had slept together a few times. Thankfully, Clarke came to her senses a few months ago. Working so closely with someone you are sleeping with always ended in disaster.

“Did you confirm with the caterers?” Alie asked.

“Yes,” Clarke said. “They will be here at four and will serve until eleven.”

“Good,” Alie replied. Her nails tapped on her screen as she furiously typed out a text to someone. Clarke felt bad for whoever it was. 

Clarke’s phone chimed with a text from  Niylah :  _ on my way _

“She’s bringing the last of her pieces right now,” Clarke said. “Do you need me to do anything else before I leave?”

“You can go,” Alie said. “Be here tomorrow at noon to finish setting everything up. I’ll give you time to go home and change before we open the doors.”

Clarke walked down the gallery steps feeling light. She knew tomorrow she would wake up with a heavy weight on her chest until the last person left the opening tomorrow. But for now, Clarke felt good. 

Her studio apartment in Manhattan was too small and too expensive. Almost every single month, Clarke struggled to pay the rent. The art gallery paid well. Alie, despite how she treated Clarke, seemed to appreciate the work she did. Without Clarke, the whole system would fall apart. After six years of working there, she knew all the ins and outs. She usually knew what Alie needed before the woman had to tell her. 

Clarke put an order in at her favorite takeout spot and splurged on having it delivered. Now that she was home, she planned on it staying that way. A half-finished canvas laid against the wall by her bed. Looking at it now, she hated it. It made Clarke want to kick her foot through the canvas. Before she could act on the urge, Raven came into her apartment without knocking. 

“Finally!” Raven said. “Did you  already eat?”

“I just ordered food,” she replied. “I ordered plenty for you, too.”

“Oh, you’re the sweetest,” Raven said, pulling open her fridge door. “Do you need me to pretend to be your girlfriend tomorrow?”

“Not this time,” Clarke said. “ Niylah got the hint.”

“Thank god,” she said. Raven opened her beer on the side of Clarke’s counter. “She’s cute though.”

Clarke shrugged. Mentions of continuing a relationship with anyone caused Clarke to feel suffocated. At one point in time, Clarke had been married. But she was also divorced in the same year. Since then, she refused to get seriously involved with anyone. No one was going to ruin Clarke’s life the way her ex-husband had.

Raven got the door when the delivery person knocked. She laid out the food on the counter. Clarke turned on the TV and they sat on the floor to eat. There was no room in her apartment for a proper couch, so they usually sat in the bed unless they were eating. 

“Thanks for the food,” Raven said, placing her bowl in the sink. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yes, see you tomorrow,” Clarke said.

Clarke took a long, hot shower before bed. She might not have much in this life, but she was happy. Clarke did not have to answer to anyone outside of work. She did whatever and whoever she wanted. 

Being married so young had really opened her eyes to the things that she did not get to do. Finn cheating on her had been a blessing in disguise. All throughout her marriage, she had been called horrible names and told multiple times how worthless she was. Despite all of that, Clarke had been in love and faithful to him. Only now did she see how ridiculous she had been. 

Clarke felt the same weight leave her chest tonight that had left her ten years ago. She fell asleep happy.

* * *

Alie had a real smile on her face when Clarke arrived for the opening. Even though her boss did not say anything, Clarke knew she appreciated the gown and shoes she wore. Alie never gave compliments. She scrambled to put the finishing touches on everything before the first of the few guests arrived.  Niylah was already there and sipping champagne. 

When Clarke came out of the bathroom, the gallery opening was in full swing. A small group was surrounding  Niylah which made Clarke happy if not a little jealous. The more accessible  Niylah was to patrons meant more pieces got sold. Alie had given her names of some influential patrons who were supposed to be here tonight. She was tasked with schmoozing them as much as she could.

The first guest she recognized was the owner of a local hospital who had an extensive art collection in all his homes. He was guaranteed to purchase something, so Clarke did not waste her time with him. 

Clarke grabbed a glass of champagne from a caterer passing through the crowd. As she scanned the crowd over the rim of her glass, she made eye contact with a woman across the room. This woman was beautiful, like so many others in the crowd, but something about her was enthralling. The woman briefly smiled at her before looking back at the man she was talking to. The man happened to be one of the  influential names Alie had given her. Clarke briefly wondered if the woman was his date or, worse, his wife. 

The rest of the opening went smoothly.  Niylah sold many pieces and the rest were being stored for the future shows here. Alie was pleased, Clarke could tell, because she let Clarke leave before cleanup was finished. The caterers were loading up their vans and purchased pieces were being wrapped up by the other employees to be delivered tomorrow. 

When she exited the gallery, Clarke was surprised to find the woman from earlier standing near the steps. She walked over as Clarke descended the stairs.

“I had a feeling you worked here,” the woman said. Clarke noticed that she was still just as beautiful through her tipsy haze.

“Are you stalking me?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“No,” she replied with a smile. “But I have been waiting out here for about ten minutes so we could casually run into  each other .”

“But nothing about you waiting for me suggests casual,” Clarke said.

The woman laughed and Clarke was proud of herself for causing it. “I’m Lexa,” she said.

“I’m Clarke,” she replied.

“ Of course, you would have a name like that,” Lexa said. “Something beautiful and unique.”

Clarke wondered if she was blushing right now. It was kind of hard to tell after all the glasses of champagne she had earlier. “I’ve never known anyone with your name either,” she said. 

Lexa grinned at her and Clarke knew exactly what she wanted. Clarke wanted it, too. “Do you want to walk me home?” Clarke asked. 

It had been a while since she brought someone home whom she just met. Clarke had not known this woman more than five minutes and she was about to see her crappy apartment. But Lexa was completely intoxicating. Even her smell was attractive. 

“How did you know the man you were talking to earlier?” Clarke asked about halfway through their walk.

“He’s a friend of my father’s,” Lexa replied. 

They stopped in front of her building. “This is me,” she said, starting for the door. “Are you coming up?”

Lexa bit her bottom lip to cover a smirk. “Yes,” she replied.

“Ignore the mess,” Clarke said as she unlocked the door. 

Lexa’s hands were all over her as soon as the door closed behind them. Clarke’s purse fell to the ground as her hands moved to hold Lexa’s face to her own. She barely noticed Lexa unzipping her dress until it fell to the ground. Clarke reached back to the do the same to Lexa’s. Her heart pounded as Clarke was led backwards to her bed. 

They had sex so many times that Clarke lost track. She was pretty sure she even fallen asleep for a few minutes and was awoken to Lexa’s face between her legs. It had been a while since she slept with a woman, but Lexa was probably the best female sexual partner she had ever had. Lexa was maybe the best in general. 

Clarke was not sure when she had fallen asleep, but she awoke panicked. She was terrified that she had fallen asleep with Lexa still here. When she sat up and looked around, Lexa was gone. She fell back on her pillows with a relieved sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa was almost late for her flight Sunday night. She barely had time to go change at her own apartment before leaving for the airport. When arriving, Lexa had practically run to the gates in order to get there on time. But when she sat down in her first-class seat, she was smiling. The night turned out much better than she had expected it to. Rob Barter had promised to call her dad in the morning. Lexa was proud of herself for that one. 

The end of her night was great, too. Clarke had been a welcome distraction. Now, she was off to California. A female flight attendant handed her the mimosa she ordered with a grin. Lexa smiled back. The flight attendant blushed. 

Lexa opened her laptop once the plane was in the air. She read through emails and replied to the ones she must. Her father seemed particularly excited about a couple of businesses Lexa was visiting this week. She had no idea why. 

Anya texted her midway through the flight: _Why is there a maid here?_

Lexa: _To make things easier for you_

Anya: _Thanks_

Lexa smiled to herself. Anya really did mean a lot to Lexa. She had never really had a best friend before her since most people thought she was snobby, or they were intimidated by her money. Anya had never cared about any of that. Anya liked her and they got along well. Lexa did not mind having someone living with her. When Anya officially moved in, Lexa had thought she was going to hate it after a while. She was wrong. 

All Lexa’s life, she had lived with nannies and only sometimes saw her father. Lexa remembered staying up until midnight waiting for him to come home. Sometimes he would not come home for days and Lexa blamed herself for that. It was silly to think that now. Her father had a really hard time dealing with her mom’s death. Now that Lexa was an adult, she figured that her father had stayed out having sex with whoever he could. 

They had that in common, at least. The only difference about it was that her father was using sex to deal with his pain. Lexa just liked to have sex. 

“Your last name is Woods?” the flight attendant from earlier asked. 

“Yes,” Lexa replied. 

“As in Daniel Woods?” she asked. “The owner of PaTech?” 

“He’s my father,” Lexa said with a smile. 

The flight attendant was practically putty in her hands after that. They had sex in the tiny bathroom just before their plane landed. Lexa was careful about the woman leaving any marks on her body. It always caused problems when the women she slept with found marks on her body. Despite them not being in any kind of relationship, the women were jealous. It confused Lexa every time. 

Lexa threw her backpack over her shoulders as she exited the plane. Thankfully, her hotel was not far from the airport. She felt something sticking her back and reached to take out whatever was in her pocket. A phone number with the name ‘Ellie’ above it. It must be the flight attendant’s phone number. Lexa tossed it in the trash as she stepped out into the parking lot. 

* * *

The secretary behind the desk was older than Lexa expected. This was supposed to be one of the toughest sales of the week and she had no leverage. Lexa had slept with plenty of older women and flirted with even more, but this woman felt like her grandmother. She smiled, friendly, at the woman as she approached. 

“Hi, I’m Lexa Woods,” she said. “I have a meeting scheduled with your IT team. I’m the representative for PaTech.” 

“Yes, they’ve been expecting you,” the woman said in the warm way grandmothers do. “Follow me, Ms. Woods.” 

When Lexa entered the conference room, she was disappointed by the amount of men in the room. Lexa still made the sale. She had to flirt and lean over dramatically a few times, but it was worth it. As she walked out with a confirmation to send to her father, Lexa was proud of herself. 

Anya: _Will you come to the restaurant on Saturday?_

Lexa _: Sure, why?_

Anya _: They’re having a dinner for some fancy woman in town. You’ll be at a table with some of the other staff’s family._

Lexa _: Aww, I’m flattered_

Anya _: Don’t get cocky._

Lexa laughed softly as she entered her hotel room. She debated going out tonight but decided against it when she saw the fully stocked mini bar. Lexa made herself a cocktail and sat on the bed. It was better than any overly expensive drink she could order at some seedy bar. 

As she watched a movie in bed, Lexa scrolled through her Facebook feed. Some clicks and searches led her to Clarke’s profile. The blonde hardly posted anything, but it was art-related if she did. Obviously, Clarke wanted to be an artist herself. Maybe she already was. 

Lexa searched the internet for Clarke’s artwork. She found a website selling her paintings and they were good. They were better than Lexa expected them to be. She wanted to buy them all just to help Clarke, but she resisted the urge. Lexa could not do something like that without drawing attention to herself. She planned to never see the blonde again, but it would still be weird. 

* * *

Lexa’s plans to never see the blonde again were foiled by seeing Clarke across Anya’s restaurant. Clarke’s arm was linked through a man’s arm. She was smiling the same bright smile Lexa remembered, but it was much more sober now. 

“Lexa, thank you so much for coming,” Anya said. “Sorry. I’m, like, super stressed.” 

“It’s okay,” Lexa said. “This dinner wouldn’t happen to be for a woman named Alie, would it?” 

“I think that’s her name,” she replied. “Why? Do you know her?” 

“Not really,” Lexa said. “Where can I get a drink?” 

Lexa felt better with a drink in her hand. She was waiting for Clarke to break away from the guy she was hanging all over, so she could go say hi, but it seemed like this man was obsessed with Clarke. Alie walked through the crowd saying hi to the guests and people Lexa assumed were her family. Clarke stayed back at the table where the scruffy guy she came with was whispering in her ear. 

“Lexa?” someone said from behind her. 

Lexa turned and almost spit out her drink. “H-hi, Costia,” she said. “What are you doing here?” 

“My dad bought some art company, so Alie invited him,” she explained. Costia looked back at the woman at the center of the room. “She’s the worst.” 

“Yeah, I’ve never met her,” Lexa admitted. “Anya wanted me to come along for moral support.” 

“The chef?” Costia asked. “She’s good. Are you two dating or something?” 

“No,” Lexa said, chuckling. “No, she’s my friend.” 

“Oh,” Costia replied. “I should probably go find my dad. I’ll come over again if I can.” 

Lexa downed the rest of her drink as Costia walked away. She grabbed a fresh one from the bar. This night could not be worst. She would need a very nice distraction tonight. There were a few girls she could call who would be up for it. Lexa kept them in the back of her mind. 

“Can I get a whiskey on the rocks, please?” 

Lexa turned when she heard the voice. Clarke was leaning against the bar now. She must have sneaked across the room while she was talking to Costia. 

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, feigning surprise. 

“Lexa,” she said with her bright smile. Clarke took the drink from the bartender. “Give me one second.” 

Lexa watched Clarke slip through the crowd. She handed the drink to the guy who had been hanging all over her before making her way back to the bar. 

“Can I get a dry martini, please?” Clarke asked the man behind the bar, leaning over to expose her chest. 

Lexa noticed the bartender checking Clarke out and smirked. She sipped her drink and raised an eyebrow at the blonde over the rim of her glass. Clarke simply shrugged and the sight was enough to send heat down Lexa’s body. 

“Who’s the puppy-looking boy?” Lexa asked. 

Clarke grinned for some reason. “That’s Alie’s son or her nephew or something,” she explained. “I was tasked with keeping him happy.” 

“What does ‘keeping him happy’ entail?” Lexa asked. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Clarke teased. “I should get back to him though. I’m not getting paid for you to flirt with me. I’m getting paid to be flirted with by him.” 

Clarke turned when she was halfway back to her table and winked. 

“Artists,” Lexa mumbled before tossing back the rest of her drink and turning to order another. 

* * *

Lexa was feeling much better about the whole night once it was ending. She was ready to go home and be in her own bed for the first time in a week. Anya had to stay to lock up the kitchen and Lexa was somehow roped into staying with her. When she walked outside though, beside her best friend, Clarke was walking back down the sidewalk. The city was quiet and calm at this time of night, but Lexa could very clearly make out Clarke’s figure coming back toward her. 

“Now, you’re stalking me,” Lexa said. 

“Well, I didn’t want you to be resigned to your own hand,” Clarke said with a smirk. 

Lexa could have choked had she been eating or drinking anything. She laughed and shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. Clarke moved closer. 

“Do you want to use my hand instead?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Lexa said. “But... I’m not a person who dates, so... I hope that’s not what you’re after. If so, I probably shouldn’t go home with you tonight.” 

“For one thing, I’m not looking to date either,” she said. “For two, we’re going to my place again?” 

“Yes, we can’t go to mine tonight,” Lexa lied. 

Clarke gave her an odd look. Something told Lexa that Clarke knew she was lying. Instead of arguing, she just turned back around on the sidewalk and they started to walk together. 

“Did the nephew try to make a move on you?” Lexa joked. 

“Yes,” she replied with a smile. “And now I have to call him tomorrow or else Alie will probably fire me. Oh, it’s so hard being me!” 

Lexa laughed as Clarke splayed her arms out dramatically and knocked a hand into Lexa’s side. Clarke's hand grazed Lexa’s, but they did not hold hands. 

As soon as they got back to Clarke’s apartment, just as last time, they barely made it inside before their clothes were being removed. Clarke's apartment was even messier than it was last time, but Lexa did not mind. She pushed all the clothes and blankets off the bed before sitting back on it for Clarke to straddle her lap. Her hands gripped the backs of her thighs, her fingertips pressed into her skin hard enough to bruise, which made the blonde moan. 

Not long after that, Clarke’s hands were tied to the metal bed frame. Lexa kissed her once before pulling the blindfold down over her eyes. It was enough to drive Lexa crazy. 

* * *

Walking home that night, Lexa thought about what Clarke had said outside the restaurant. Despite their long night together, she would have to resort to her own hand to fall asleep tonight. 


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke rubbed the bruises on her wrists, almost subconsciously. As she walked through the gallery Monday morning, she realized that Alie was already there. Her boss never showed up early on a Monday morning. She was usually having brunch, one time in Italy, but she always spent Mondays with her friends. If Alie showed up at all, it was only for a little while. 

“Are you always this late?” Alie asked as soon as Clarke pushed open the door to Alice’s office. 

“It’s nine,” she said. 

“It’s nine o’five,” Alie replied without looking up from her date book. 

Clarke meticulously wrote everything down in that date book. She worked for hours every week to make sure Alie knew exactly where she was supposed to be and when she was supposed to be there. But right now, Clarke wanted to throw it in a puddle of water. She managed to remain calm. 

“Bellamy said you two talked a lot yesterday,” Alie said with a hopeful smile. 

“We talked for a bit, yes,” Clarke replied. 

‘ _Time that I was not paid for.’_ she thought. Clarke wondered why Alie wanted her to date him anyway. Alie had never seemed particularly fond of Clarke. Maybe this was a sign that deep down, Alie really did like her. After all, they would be related if Clarke married him. 

“When are you two going out again?” Alie asked, her eyes skimming today’s date in her book. 

“I, uh… I’m not sure,” Clarke said. “I don’t know if we’re going to.” 

“Yes, you are,” Alie said. She looked up at Clarke, threateningly. “You’ll go out with him this weekend.” 

Clarke inwardly groaned but did not argue further. She walked back out to the gallery floor to distract herself with another task. As she reached over to move on of the paintings, she caught sight of the marks on her wrists again. 

When Clarke had woken up Sunday morning, Lexa was graciously gone. There was a small part of Clarke that had hoped the woman had left her phone number. But after searching her apartment for a few minutes, there was nothing. It was better that way, Clarke knew. If she had Lexa’s number, she was liable to message her for sex all the time. Clarke did not have the time or energy to maintain even a sexual relationship. In fact, Clarke could not afford to. She could barely afford to breathe at this point in his life. 

There was no way Clarke was going to make her rent this month. After splurging on the gown and heels for the opening, Clarke had used all her emergency money. She groaned as she pulled out her phone. 

Clarke: _I hate to do this but can I borrow a couple hundred bucks this month?_

Raven: _I would totally let you but I don’t have it, sorry_

Clarke: _Thanks anyway_

Clarke had no idea what she was going to do now. There was only one other option. Her father would use this opportunity to convince her to return to D.C. Every time she mentioned being low on money or missing home, he mentioned how easy it would be if she moved back home and continued college there. After the divorce, she dropped out of college. She tried to make an art career while living in D.C. with her parents. That proved to be fruitless after three years. She tried to live there by herself for two years but that did not work either. Now, five years in New York and she had nothing to show for it. 

Clarke put her money issues to the side for now. She had so many other things to worry about too. For starters, Clarke needed a plan for getting out of a date with Bellamy. Not only was he boring, but Bellamy was Alie’s family. Clarke did not particularly enjoy the idea of being any closer to her boss. 

The last of Niylah’s pieces from the opening was being lifted from the wall and would be wrapped soon. Clarke felt a surge of jealousy overwhelm her. She had not sold a single painting in months. It might even be a full year now. At twenty-eight, she had hoped to be solely painting. When she used to think of her art career, Clarke planned on working at the gallery for a few years and then living off the money she earned from her own art. It was laughable now. 

Not only was it laughable, but it was also a little heartbreaking and embarrassing. Her parents had not believed it could ever happen and it seemed that they were right. Finn had also told her she was not good enough to be a famous painter and he was right, too. 

“No,” Clarke said out loud. It had taken her years to break the cycle of self-deprecating thoughts that Finn had instilled. She was a stronger person because of that. 

* * *

“What are you going to do about the rent?” Raven asked. 

They were sitting across from each other on the patio of their favorite pizza place. Raven stuffed a giant slice in her mouth as Clarke picked at her own food. As her rent due date approached, Clarke grew more nervous. 

“I guess I’ll have to call dad,” Clarke answered. 

“I’m sorry, Clarkie,” she said. “I know you don’t want to call them. Have you tried selling your paintings?” 

“I have my website,” Clarke said. “They just all suck, Raven.” 

“They don’t suck,” she said. “You’re an amazing artist, Clarke. It’s just a hard world to get into. I mean, there’s only a few famous painters that I can ever name. Like... Picasso. He was a painter, right?” 

“Yes,” Clarke said, chuckling. “Picasso was a painter. I don’t know. I’ll never be _that_ famous, but it would be nice to paint all day instead of fake dating Alie’s son.” 

“I thought Bellamy was her nephew...” she said. 

“I don’t know who the hell he is to her,” Clarke said. “But I’m _already_ tired of fake dating him and we haven’t even gone on a date yet.” 

“You know that you don’t have to actually go, right?” Raven asked. 

“I know,” Clarke said, sighing. “It’s just easier to go.” 

Clarke’s phone dinged. She smiled as she read the notification. Raven grabbed her phone from her hand and read it too. 

“Two of your paintings sold,” Raven said, happily. “That’s great, Clarke! Now, your rent is covered.” 

“That’s so crazy,” Clarke said, still in shock. “You didn’t secretly buy them, did you? I mean, we were just talking about it.” 

“Okay... for one thing, I don’t have the money to or I would have just given it to you,” Raven said. “And for two, you’ve been with me this whole time and I haven’t been on my phone once.” 

“That’s true,” Clarke said, still weary. 

“Maybe your luck is starting to change, babe,” Raven said. She smiled with her mouth full of pizza. 


	5. Chapter 5

Lexa was peeling an orange as she stared down at the canvases  leaning against her bedroom wall.  She could not remember purchasing them but they arrived in the mail this morning.  She knew they were Clarke’s immediately. 

Five day’s earlier while in Tennessee  to visit a law firm, she had gotten pretty drunk in her hotel room. She could not remember  the evening or night but, when she woke up, there was a blonde woman in her bed and Clarke’s  art website was open on her phone. Lexa slipped out of the hotel room before the woman could wake up  and left on her plane. 

But now she had two paintings that Clarke had made. Clarke’s watermark, or whatever artists called it, was in the bottom corner. She thought about Clarke pouring out her emotions into these paintings.  Lexa did not deserve to have them. She had drunkenly bought them. After a moment of panic, Lexa remembered the name the packages were addressed to. ‘Patricia Williams’ the package said. For some reason, Lexa had used her mother’s maiden name. She must have been in a very self-deprecating mood when she purchased them.

“What are those?” Anya asked, entering Lexa’s bedroom.

“Paintings,” she answered.

Lexa popped an orange slice into her mouth as she kept her eyes on the paintings. Anya folded her arms and stood beside her. 

“They’re nice,” Anya said. 

Lexa carried them into the bathroom and hid the canvases inside the linen closet. She closed the door, so they were hidden. Anya raised her eyebrow in question, but Lexa just waved her off. She did not have the mental capacity to deal with that right now. Anya would not understand anyway since she goes on dates and enjoys them. It did not make sense for Lexa to hold on to these paintings made by someone she had slept with two times. 

Anya opened her mouth to say something and Lexa stopped her with a glare. Lexa stepped past her roommate, walking into the living room, as she ate another slice of the fruit. The TV was on, so she sat on the couch to mindlessly watch it. 

When she laid down that night, Lexa realized that there was probably a reason as to why she slept with a blonde in Tennessee. Instead of going to sleep and forgetting about it, Lexa got up and took a shower. She dressed quickly. Before Anya could wake up and watch her, she sneaked out of their apartment.

Her doorman waved at her from the steps. Lexa had always liked him. He had never once given her an odd look about the hours Lexa went out or when she came home drunk. The doorman may have seen Lexa at her worst a few times. Once, he had been a witness to her getting kicked out of a cab practically naked. The girl she was with had been incredibly  embarrassed, but Lexa did not care all that much. She got herself dressed and would not let the woman up to her apartment. 

A little while after waving goodbye to the man, Lexa was taking shots at her favorite bar nearby. It was overly expensive and the atheistic was too snobby in her opinion, but she liked the atmosphere. There were always interesting businessmen and women to eavesdrop on. Lexa always found their problems entertaining. They were almost as interesting as her father complaining. 

Before Lexa was completely aware of how many shots she had taken, she was halfway to Clarke’s. Lexa had not planned on going to Clarke’s when she left her apartment. In fact, Lexa had planned to never see Clarke again. Buying Clarke’s paintings was a step much too far. 

“Lexa?” she heard Clarke say from behind her. 

Lexa turned to see Clarke walking down the sidewalk beside some guy. She recognized him from Anya’s restaurant. It was the scruffy, annoying guy who had hung all over her that night.

“Oh, hi,” Lexa said, feigning surprise. 

Clarke looked at her for a moment before turning to the guy. “I should probably go,” Clarke said quietly.

Despite Lexa’s slightly drunken haze, she heard him say, “I thought we were going to go up to your room.”

Lexa shivered and turned to look for a cab. She desperately needed to be in her own bed right now. Maybe Anya would even do that thing where she rubs her back...

Clarke’s hand was suddenly around her wrist and she was dragging Lexa into her building. As soon as the door closed, Clarke smiled back at her as they ascended the stairs.

“Thank you,” she said, relief in her tone. For a moment, Lexa panicked thinking Clarke knew about the paintings. “You saved me. I thought I was going to have to have sex with him to get him to leave.”

“You were on a date with that loser?” Lexa asked.

Clarke laughed as she led Lexa to her apartment door. She unlocked it quickly and pulled her inside. “It wasn’t be choice,” Clarke said, “He’s my boss’ son or something.”

“Or something?” Lexa asked, chuckling. “You don’t know?”

“Nope,” she said, smiling. Clarke leaned forward to kiss her, hand moving behind Lexa's neck, as she walked backwards toward the bed. 

Clarke's hands were under Lexa’s shirt and wiggling down her pants. It was adorable how small the woman’s hands felt and she briefly imagined Clarke holding a paintbrush. 

“Wait,” Lexa said suddenly. She pulled away despite Clarke’s frown. “You know that like... you could have brought him up here if you wanted to. Without me, I mean.”

“I know,” Clarke said. “I didn’t even want to go out with him tonight.”

“Right,” she said. “But... like... you don’t expect to... date, right?”

“I don’t date,” Clarke said. “Not unless there’s a risk I could be fired. You don’t have to worry about me asking you out, if that’s what you mean.”

“Good,” Lexa said. “I don’t date either.”

“Now, where were we?” Clarke asked, pulling her back to the bed again. 

* * *

Lexa woke up in a bed that was not her own. It was not a hotel room either. She had fallen asleep in Clarke’s bed. She glanced over at the blonde woman asleep beside her. Something about the way the sun was streaming in and hitting her face or the way the sheet barely covered Clarke’s chest made Lexa smile. 

There was nowhere to change back into her clothes outside of the bedroom since Clarke lived in a studio, so Lexa got dressed as quietly as she could. Thankfully, she managed to leave before the blonde opened her eyes. 

Lexa felt better after their talk the night before. She could not remember walking to Clarke’s apartment building since that was the peak of her drunken state, but she did remember Clarke’s interaction with the guy on the sidewalk. Whether he was Alie’s son or nephew or neighbor, for all Lexa cared, Clarke should not feel any pressure to date someone she did not want to. 

‘ _ Not your problem, _ ’ Lexa thought. 

Anya was awake when she got home. “Should I ask where you’ve been?” she asked. “I thought you would, at least, bring me a bagel back.”

Lexa rolled her eyes as she tossed the wax paper bag at her roommate. Anya smiled when she opened it and took the bagel out. “I even got you the nasty cream cheese you like,” Lexa said. 

“A lot of people like garden vegetable cream cheese!” Anya argued.

“No, they don’t!” she shouted from her bedroom.

Lexa undressed in her bathroom but she could hear Anya laughing from the couch. 


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke had been awake when Lexa slipped out of her apartment that morning. She was laying on her side, facing Lexa as she got dressed, and made sure Lexa could not see that she was awake. Clarke could barely make her out through the thin slit of her eyes. But it was impossible not to watch her. Lexa was stunning. Clarke felt momentarily embarrassed about her messy apartment when Lexa almost tripped over one of her shoes. 

This was the second time Clarke noticed Lexa’s name brand, expensive clothing. At Alie’s appreciation dinner, Lexa had been wearing an Armani jacket but even Clarke could find something expensive in her closet if she looked hard enough. It was tough to live in New York and not have a single piece of expensive clothing saved for special occasions. 

But Lexa was wearing another Armani jacket tonight, obviously new, and obviously new, and an expensive pair of vintage Levi’s. Lexa must have an important job if she had all of these nice articles of clothing. 

Clarke was lucky to find a pair of jeans she could afford from a bargain bin. It was annoying and stressful to constantly be worried about money, but, thanks to someone named Patricia, she was a little less stressed this month. 

After a shower, Clarke felt a lot better. She slid into her favorite, raggedly sweatpants for a long day in front of the TV and, if inspiration strikes, in front of a canvas. She caught sight of her grandmother’s jewelry box on top of her dresser. After opening it, she lifted her wedding ring from the place it had sat for the past eight years. 

Clarke had mixed feelings about the ring. She remembered how happy she had been on her wedding day, but all those memories had been tainted by the cheating. She had only been nineteen when she got married. Even when she was young, Clarke wanted to marry young. She had wanted to be a stay-at-home mom who was also an artist. 

Now she realized the error of her ways. Clarke had expected someone else to make her feel complete. That was impossible. Clarke had never felt complete with Finn, but she told herself the opposite. Since living alone and making her own money, Clarke was happier than she had ever been. She could not even see herself having a kid or a husband now. It was one of the last things she wanted. Clarke Griffin, formerly Clarke Collins, enjoyed her freedom too much to be tied down by anything or anyone. 

Once the ring was back in its place, Clarke closed the jewelry box. She made her way to her bed again and laid back. This was going to be the most relaxing day she had experienced in a long time. 

Clarke must have fallen asleep again because she opened her eyes to find Raven entering her apartment with the spare key she had. 

“Good, you’re awake,” her best friend said. “Who was the hottie leaving your apartment this morning?” 

Clarke hummed and turned on her other side. “No one,” she said. 

Raven crawled into the bed and put an arm around her waist. Clarke smiled as she snuggled into her. “You’re in a good mood,” Raven said. “But tell me who the girl is.” 

“Lexa,” Clarke said. “We’ve slept together a few times. She accidentally fell asleep last night. She was a little drunk when she got here.” 

“Haven’t seen a woman around here recently,” she said. 

“Lexa’s good,” Clarke said, shrugging. “Now, shush. I want to take a nap.” 

* * *

Clarke knew work on Monday was going to be brutal. But Alie arrived in an even worse mood than Clarke could have predicted. 

“Bellamy told me about your date,” Alie said. 

“Yeah?” Clarke asked, keeping her eyes down on the date book she was organizing for the week. 

“He was a bit upset with how it ended,” she said. 

“A friend showed up drunk and I had to help her,” Clarke explained. “It was nothing personal. I told him that.” 

“A friend?” Alie asked. 

“Yes, a friend,” Clarke explained. “Don’t take this the wrong way but I don’t think it’s going to work out with Bellamy. For one thing, I’m not the dating type.” 

“And the other thing is... what? You don’t like him?” she asked. 

“Bellamy is very attractive and nice,” Clarke said honestly. “But I don’t want to date anyone.” 

“I’ll let him know,” Alie said before escaping into her office. 

After she was gone, Clarke thought about her boss’ reason for wanting Clarke to date him. Alie must think she’s, at least, attractive. That was better than any compliment Alie could ever say out loud. Honestly, Clarke had no idea why Alie wanted her to date him so badly. The only explanation she could come up with was that Bellamy liked her and Alie felt like she could somehow convince Clarke to date him, but now she would not have to worry about that. 

Clarke did feel a little guilty. Bellamy was a nice guy and she did find him attractive. Lexa was included in the list of people she did not want to date, too. Looking at her wedding ring this weekend made her even more aware of that. 

Raven was at her apartment when she got home that night. She was laying in Clarke’s bed and scrolling through Netflix movies. Clarke changed into leggings and a tee. 

“Bad day?” Clarke asked. 

“They passed me up for a promotion again,” she said. “I’m sick of my bosses. I want to quit.” 

“You’d have to move in here if you did.” Clarke said, looking around the small space. “And I think we might have trouble getting dressed together in the morning.” 

“I would never need to get dressed if I quit,” Raven grumbled. “If I don’t get promoted in the next few months, I’m quitting.” 

Clarke’s phone chimed and she dug it out from inside her purse. 

Lexa: _Are you busy Friday night?_

Clarke: _I don’t remember getting your number_

Lexa: _Because you were asleep when I put it in._

Clarke: _And I’m the stalker... Yes, I’m free_

Lexa _: Good_

“Who are you texting?” Raven asked. 

“Lexa,” Clarke said. “She wants to get together on Friday.” 

“For a date?” she asked. 

Clarke met Raven’s eyes and they laughed. 


	7. Chapter 7

Friday morning, Lexa sat across from her father in his office. She figured this was not going to be a fun meeting just from the text she received last night. Her father, Daniel, had sent her a message at eleven pm asking for her to come in as soon as she could. 

“I received a very interesting call from the Lab Corp you were at on Tuesday,” he said.

Lexa knew exactly what he was talking about before he said it. She sighed and leaned her head back. Lexa stared up at the ceiling for a moment before speaking, “Stupid janitor.”

“The janitor is not the problem here,” Daniel said. “He just caught you screwing the CFO. Lexa, we’ve talked about this multiple times. Please don’t make me pull you.”

Lexa rolled her eyes at the threat. He has tried that too many times to count. Lexa did feel a little embarrassed to be having this conversation with her father. However, it was not a new conversation.

“I hear all the shit people say about you, Lexa,” he said. “Is that really what you want people to think about you?”

“Does it really matter what people think about me?” Lexa asked.

“No,” Daniel said, sighing. “But I wouldn’t want people to say that stuff about me.”

“Hate to break this to you, dad,” she said. “But they do.”

“The point is, I can’t keep fielding calls and losing sales because of you,” he said. “I hate that I have to tell my thirty-year-old daughter  this, but you do not have to use your body to make sales.”

“Don’t do that,” Lexa said. “Don’t act like I’m an idiot. You know I can close sales without having sex with someone in the financial department.”

“Then do it,” Daniel said more seriously now. 

“Let me get this straight,” Lexa said. “You’re allowed to have sex with secretaries younger than I am, but I can’t sleep with someone from a completely different company?”

“That’s right,” he said. “And that was only once. She quit after that anyway.”

“Amber quit because she thought you were going to actually date her,” Lexa said.

“Right,” Daniel said. “I’m feeling a little concerned about us having this conversation so casually. Do you want a drink?”

Lexa watched her father pour some whiskey into a glass and take a sip. She stood and grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair. 

“No, thanks,” she said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Lex,” he said.

Lexa turned around with her hand on the doorknob. She watched him, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows in his office, until he turned back around to meet her eyes. 

“I’m making a big dinner Sunday night,” he said. “You should come over. Don’t worry. I’m not actually making it, but... I would really like for you to join me.”

Lexa nodded and opened the door. “See you Sunday,” she said, letting the door close behind herself.

Lexa normally avoided dinners at her dad’s house, but this dinner was different. This was a dinner to celebrate her late mother’s birthday. She had never missed one of those dinners. Lexa was already dreading it.

Clarke:  _ Are you coming here? _

Lexa:  _ I planned on it. Why? _

Clarke:  _ Just checking _

* * *

“Who are you getting all dressed up for?” Anya asked later that night. __

“No one,” Lexa replied. “I’m not getting all dressed up at all.”

“Lexa, normal people wear leggings and long sleeve shirts for one-night stands,” she said. “And they also only sleep with someone one night, but...”

“Shut up, Anya,” Lexa said, emerging from the bathroom. “And I’m not dressed up.”

“You’re the only person in the world who can make Gucci look casual,” she said. 

Lexa smiled at that. “It’s a gift,” she said. 

Anya sat on the side of Lexa’s bed as she checked herself in the mirror. “I’m starting to worry about you, Lexa,” Anya admitted. 

“Not this crap again,” Lexa said, groaning. 

“I remember the last time you were like this,” she said, wagging a finger at her. 

“Don’t, An,” Lexa said seriously. 

“Fine,” she said. “I won’t say anything else about it... for the night, but I’ll tell you this, I am not dragging you from the bars this time.”

“For one thing, I won’t need that because my thing with Clarke is not serious at all,” Lexa said. “For two, I will never be like that again. And, for three, you would totally do that if I needed it.”

“Fine,” Anya said, rolling off the bed. “But, just for the record, I think Clarke is very nice.”

“I should get going,” Lexa said, glancing at her watch. “It’s already past eleven.”

Lexa carried a bottle of wine up the stairs to Clarke’s apartment. She went to knock, but Clarke pulled the door open as she raised her arm to do so. The blonde was smiling. 

“Finally,” Clarke said, pulling her inside by the hand. 

“Sorry,” Lexa said, chuckling. “But I brought you wine. Does that make up for it?”

Clarke grinned as she leaned forward to kiss her. The kiss deepened easily. Clarke pulled away first and took the bottle from her hand. She searched her drawers for a wine bottle opener before pulling out two glasses.

“Will you open it for me?” Clarke asked, batting her eye lashes.

Lexa wondered what else she had made people do with those eyelashes. There may have been a small part of her that was jealous of them. Lexa opened the bottle and poured it into the two glasses. She handed one to Clarke.

“This is good,” Clarke said after taking a sip. “Is it a fancy kind? You seem like the fancy wine type.”

“I seem like a what?” Lexa asked, laughing. 

“A fancy wine person,” she repeated. “You wear fancy clothes and drink fancy alcohols.”

Lexa looked down at her own clothes and wondered for the first time if Anya was right. Next time, Lexa was going to wear the most casual clothes she could find. She was even willing to go shopping for them if she must.

“I cannot lie,” Lexa said, dramatically. “This  _ is  _ a nice brand.”

“I knew it,” she said. 

Clarke pulled herself up on the counter. Lexa took this as an invitation to step between her legs. She watched Clarke take a delicate sip from her wine glass. 

“Do people in casual sexual relationships discuss their days with each other?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa laughed at the seriousness in her tone. “I think we can do whatever we want to,” she answered. “How was your day?”

“Good,” Clarke said. “I finished a painting. And before you asked, you can’t see it.”

Lexa felt relieved. Clarke obviously had no idea it was really Lexa who had bought her paintings. She also seemed oblivious to the fact that Lexa knew she posted all her paintings on her website. At least Lexa did not have to try and explain that tonight. She would probably die of embarrassment if she had to.

“Why not?” Lexa asked, frowning. “I want to see it.”

“No,” Clarke said again.

Clarke held Lexa’s wrist and let her wine glass to Lexa’s mouth. She laughed but took a drink anyway. Once the glass was back on the counter, she noticed that Clarke’s hand was still wrapped around her wrist.

“How was your day?” Clarke asked.

“Could’ve been better,” Lexa said. “My dad annoyed me.”

“What happened?” she asked.

“It just sucks working for your father,” Lexa said. 

“He’s your boss?” Clarke asked. “Where do you work?”

“I work at PaTech,” Lexa said. “And yes, my dad is my boss.”

“I’ve heard of that place,” Clarke said. “I think everyone in the world has, I guess. What do you do there?”

“I’m a sales rep,” Lexa said. 

Clarke hummed as she leaned forward to kiss her. Lexa was relieved she did not ask anything else about her job. Lexa did not want to talk about work right now and she was not exactly thrilled to have Clarke find out the truth about her job. People always thought differently of her once they found out that she would be inheriting the business. Most people were so fake around her that it was always hard to tell who were her true friends and which were not. 

Lexa laid Clarke’s glass beside her own and lifted the woman from counter. She dropped her down on the bed, crawling over her legs, and pulling off her own shirt. Clarke’s soft moans quickly filled the small apartment. 


	8. Chapter 8

Dinner at her father’s house on Sunday was bound to be an incredibly morbid affair. It was a celebration for her dead mother’s birthday after all. She found herself thinking about it as she lay in bed with Clarke. Neither of them had spoken much after having sex in the early hours of Saturday morning but, now that was over, and Lexa was not in her usual hurry to leave.

“I wish I had a bathtub,” Clarke said suddenly.

Lexa looked over and found herself laughing. “What made you think about that?” she asked.

“Because a bath would be really nice right now,” Clarke said.

“I’ll have to invite you over at some point,” Lexa replied. “I have a tub in my apartment.”

“Would you bathe with me if I came over?” she asked, turning on her side to face Lexa now.

Lexa also turned onto her side. She reached out and moved a strand of blonde hair from her face. “I don’t know,” she said, grinning. “Is that allowed?”

“Allowed?” Clarke asked.

“In our arrangement,” Lexa explained. “Baths together seem very intimate, you know.”

“Lexa, you have seen more of my body up close than I have,” she said, giggling. “I think we can bathe together without it meaning anything more.”

“Good,” Lexa said. “Because I haven’t taken a bath in my own tub in a long time.”

“Why not?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shrugged and laid on her back once more. “Don’t have the time, I guess,” she said. 

Clarke sat up, stretched, and the sheet fell down her chest. Lexa almost reached up to run a finger down  ger spine but restrained herself. Touching her for reasons other than sexual pleasure were not allowed in their arrangement. Even if Lexa desperately wanting to feel Clarke shiver under her touch, she was not going to do it. 

“Do you want to shower with me, at least?” Clarke asked, looking over her shoulder.

“Yes,” Lexa said, sitting up now. “And I promise to make your shower very nice. Maybe not as good as a bath but I’ll do my best.”

Clarke smiled and stood from the bed. The sheet fell away. Lexa had seen plenty of beautiful women. She had slept with models and actresses. But Clarke was in the top five. She could not exactly think of anyone else with Clarke, naked, in front of her. Lexa followed her into the bathroom. The room was tiny, but it just meant they had to stand closer. 

Knowing that Clarke lived in this tiny apartment in the poorest neighborhood in Manhattan bothered Lexa a little bit. She was not even sure why. Maybe she felt like Clarke was talented enough to afford more than this. The world had not discovered Clarke’s art yet, Lexa decided. 

Lexa felt significantly better after the shower. Her knees ached a bit, but the pain was worth hearing Clarke’s sounds as she came. They climbed out after a while and Lexa got dressed. She sat on the edge of the bed as she pulled her jeans on. Clarke laid back in her bed and pulled the covers over her naked body once more. 

“I have a flight Monday morning, but I could probably come over late Sunday night if you’re free,” Lexa said. “I have dinner with my dad, but after. If you want to.”

“Sure,” Clarke said. “Do you want me to come over to your apartment?”

“Um... if you want,” she said. “I live in SoHo.”

“You can just text me your address when you want me to leave here,” Clarke said. 

“I will,” Lexa said. She grabbed her jacket from the kitchen counter. “See you Sunday, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled from underneath her thick comforter and grabbed the pillow Lexa had laid on before. “See you Sunday,” she replied.

* * *

There was an unfamiliar car in the driveway when Lexa arrived at her dad’s house .  She immediately got a bad feeling.  The maid let her into the house and took Lexa’s jacket.  She could hear her dad and woman’s voice in the lounge. When she entered, her dad was pouring two drinks at the bar. 

“Lexa,”  Daniel said , walking over to her. He handed her the glass of whiskey he obviously poured her himself. “I want you to meet someone.” 

Lexa looked over at the woman still standing by her father’s bar. She looked to be about Lexa’s age which did nothing to help the situation. It made things worse. 

“Lexa,  this is my girlfriend,” Daniel said. “Echo, this is my daughter, Lexa.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Echo said with a smile that was too large. She hugged Lexa which was not returned. 

Lexa looked at her father over the woman’s shoulder and, at least, he had the decency to look embarrassed about the entire situation. Lexa wanted to scream at him.  This was supposed to be a sacred night for the two of them to bond over the loss of her mother . They would drink and talk and eat.  But that would not be happening this year. 

Just the sight of this girl touching her father made her skin crawl. Lexa was used to seeing girls hanging off her dad, but this was different. This woman was here on their special night. Therefore, this had to be a serious relationship. The thought made her nauseous.

Lexa drank the whiskey in one gulp. She laid the empty glass on the bar before refilling it herself. Despite the looks she could feel from her father and his girlfriend behind her, she downed that glass in one drink too. Coming here tonight had been such a bad idea. At least she had Clarke to look forward to later. 

“Lexa,” Daniel said, putting his hand on the small of her back. “Stop that.”

Lexa looked back to find Echo gone now. “Me?” she asked. “You stop. You invited this girl to  _ our  _ night.”

“Stop acting like a jealous teenager,” he said. “Echo wanted to meet you and you always have some excuse to not come over.”

“Oh, please,” Lexa said, rolling her eyes. “You wanted her to come tonight. I’ve never cared about you dating. But you’re going to do this  now? On Mom’s birthday?”

“You’re right,” he said, sighing. “I should have told you she would be here. This  _ is  _ our special night. I’m sorry, Lexa. Do you want me to ask her to leave?”

“Are you serious?” she asked. “Of course not. I’ll... I’ll be nice, okay? Let’s eat, please. I’m starving.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said  sincerely .

After they were settled in the dining room, Daniel’s personal chef brought their plates out one-by-one. Lexa poured herself a glass of white wine from her father’s cellar. She had even grabbed a few to take home. Lexa refused to admit that they were technically for Clarke. 

“So,” Lexa said, breaking the tension. Her dad and Echo both snapped their heads up to look at her. Lexa lifted her wine glass and held it with two hands. “How did the two of you meet?”

“Oh, umm... she came in for an interview actually,” Daniel said.

Lexa gave him a look that stated, quite clearly, that she would never get in trouble again for sleeping with anyone while on the clock. If her dad could start dating a potential employee, Lexa could sleep with someone working for another company. 

“How adorable,” Lexa said, monotone. 

Echo cleared her throat as she grabbed her fork. “It was actually funny because I was so nervous,” she said.

Lexa watched the way they looked at each other. It would have been sweet had he not been her father and if this woman was not her age or younger. Everything about this was weird, but the situation annoyed her more than anything. If she had known she would be meeting her dad’s girlfriend, she would have tried to mentally prepare herself somehow. 

“How old are you, Echo?” Lexa asked, surprising herself by remembering the woman’s name.

“I’m twenty-eight,” she answered with a friend smile.

Lexa hummed, avoiding her father’s eyes. She cut a piece of steak and chewed it slowly. 

“Anyway, sweetheart,” Daniel said. Both women looked at him, but it was Lexa he was referring to this time. “I found the perfect house for you. I know you like your apartment, but this house won’t last long.”

“No, thank you,” Lexa said. “Anya and I are happy where we are.”

“Anya?” Echo asked. “Is that your girlfriend? Your father told me that you’re gay.”

“Anya is my roommate,” Lexa said.

“You have a roommate?” Echo asked. “Aren’t you rich? Why do you have a roommate?”

“I just do,” Lexa said, shrugging. She felt extremely uncomfortable talking about money with this woman. Lexa had to wonder what  Echo’s true intentions with her father were . 

“Anya is a friend,” Daniel explained. “Her apartment building burned  down, and she moved in with Lexa.”

“That’s so nice of you,” Echo said with another huge smile. 

Lexa took a long drink of her wine. “Uh huh,” she replied. 

Once her glass was topped off, she pulled her phone from her back pocket.

Lexa:  _ 515 Broadway is my address _

Clarke _ : Do you want me to leave now? _

Lexa _ : Actually, I want you to call me  _

The phone did not ring for five minutes. Lexa lifted it from between her legs where she had put it to wait for Clarke’s call.

“Hello?” Lexa asked which made her father and Echo look at her in question.

“Lexa? Why did you want me to call you?” Clarke asked.

“Oh no,” she said. “You want me to come now?”

“Lexa? Are you drunk?” Clarke asked.

“No,” Lexa answered. “I’ll be there soon, okay?”

“You’re either drunk or lying to whoever you’re with,” Clarke said, finally catching on.

“The second one,” she replied. “I’ll see you soon.”

Lexa hung up the phone before Clarke could reply again. She stood up from the table. 

“I’m sorry,” Lexa told them. “We’ll have to do this another night.”

“Oh, okay,” Echo said. “It was so nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Lexa said on her way out the door. She was in her car in record time.

Lexa:  _ You’re a lifesaver _

Clarke:  _ You can fill me in at your apartment in twenty mins _

Lexa:  _ Deal _


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke looked around at the buildings surrounding her and then down at her phone again. There was no way that she was in the right district. The apartments here rented for over ten thousand dollars a month. The deeper she walked down Broadway, the more expensive the buildings became. Clarke had asked her Uber driver to stop a few blocks away since she was a few minutes early. For a moment, she was worried about walking alone but quickly realized this was probably the safest place to be in all of New York. 

Once she reached 515 Broadway, the building loomed over her. Clarke realized that this was probably the nicest building on this block. A man standing on the steps cleared his throat and she quickly looked to him.

“Are you looking for someone, ma’am?” he asked.

“My friend sent me this address, but she didn’t send me an apartment number...” Clarke said. “I’m supposed to meet Lexa Woods. Does she live here?”

“Yes,” he said with a smile. “Follow me inside. I’ll call her and then send you up.”

Clarke felt extremely out of place while standing inside the lobby. It was hard to believe that the same woman who showered with her in the tiniest bathroom in all of New York could live  _ here _ . Clarke had the decency to feel a little bit embarrassed. 

“Lexa?” the doorman said into the phone. “Yes. I’ll send her up.”

Clarke followed him past the main elevators and down a hallway. There was a row of smaller, personal elevators here and he pressed the button for one. 

“Thank you,” Clarke said.

The doorman smiled and nodded at her before going back to his post. Clarke stepped into the elevator when it opened. She fell back against the railing and quickly pulled her phone out of her pocket.

Clarke:  _ You’ll never believe where Lexa lives. She has an elevator that goes directly to her apartment. _

Raven:  _ Really? She’s rich? _

Clarke:  _ Seems so. Brunch tomorrow? _

Raven:  _ Yes _

Clarke stepped out when she arrived in another hallway that led to a door. It was the only door, so she assumed this must be Lexa’s apartment. Clarke knocked and the door was pulled open immediately.

“Hey,” Lexa said. She had a drink in her hand that looked like whiskey.

“Hey,” Clarke said. 

Lexa closed the door behind her. “Let me pour you a drink,” she said. “Wine?”

“That’s fine, Lexa,” she said. Clarke slipped her jacket off her shoulders and laid it on the chair by the door. 

The apartment was nicer than Clarke could have imagined. One entire wall was glass and it looked like it had been professionally designed. Lexa could have picked out all the furniture and decor herself, Clarke realized. But this looked like a room out of a magazine. 

“So, where were you tonight when I called?” Clarke asked.

“My dad’s,” Lexa said, handing her a half-full glass.

“And... you wanted to leave?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa sighed as she sat on her couch. Clarke sat on the other side and pulled her legs under herself. She rested her chin in her hand where her arm was propped up on the back of the couch. Lexa seemed upset.

“My dad decided that tonight would be the perfect night to introduce me to his new girlfriend,” Lexa explained. She turned to face Clarke, too. 

“Oh,” Clarke said, frowning. “That sucks. What’s she like?”

“Well, for starters, she’s two years younger than I am,” Lexa said. She rolled her eyes and took a long drink of her whiskey.

“Your dad’s girlfriend is younger than you?” Clarke asked. “Wow, that’s... that’s crazy.”

“I should be used to it by now,” Lexa said.

“Are your parents divorced or something?” Clarke asked.

“My mom’s dead,” she said. 

“Oh,” Clarke said, frowning. She said it so casually that it made Clarke’s heart ache. “I’m sorry.”

“I never knew her,” Lexa said. She finished her whiskey and stood to pour another one at the bar. “But anyway, he always sleeps with younger women. But this woman... he seems to really like her. It's weird.”

Clarke took a drink of the wine which was much too dry for her taste. She enjoyed the cheap wines that tasted like fruit juice. “Your dad sleeps around a lot?” she asked. “I’m not trying to judge but how do you know that?”

“Dad and I are close,” she said, shrugging. 

“Seems like it,” Clarke said. 

“Sorry,” Lexa said. “You didn’t come here to listen to my problems.”

“Lexa, you can talk to me about whatever you want to,” Clarke said. “So, your dad’s girlfriend is two years younger than you, so she’s.... how old?”

“Is this your subtle way of asking how old I am?” Lexa asked. 

“Maybe,” Clarke said, shrugging. She smirked at Lexa over the back of the couch. “I’m twenty-eight, by the way.”

“I’m thirty,” she answered. “So, Echo is your age.”

“Echo?” Clarke asked. “What kind of name is that?”

Lexa chuckled as she sat back down on the couch. “That’s what I thought,” she said. “But... I don’t know. She seems nice enough.”

“Still seems a little weird, I guess,” Clarke said, shrugging. 

“I know,” Lexa said, shrugging. 

Lexa moved so that they were sitting closer and reached out to grab a strand of Clarke’s hair. Clarke was glad she decided to wear it down tonight. She could tell that Lexa was tipsy or maybe fully drunk, but her hands felt too nice to move away from. 

“You have a really nice place here,” Clarke said. “I can’t remember if I told you or not when I arrived.”

“Thank you,” she said. 

Lexa took Clarke’s wine from her hand and laid both glasses on the table in front of them. She leaned in and kissed her, Clarke’s hand moving to cup her cheek. Lexa moved to lay over top of her, so Clarke’s back was against the couch cushions. They made out for a while. Clarke’s legs were wrapped around Lexa’s waist when the woman finally pulled back. 

“Sorry,” someone said from behind the couch. 

Lexa sat up and sighed as she looked over at the woman now standing in the living room. “It’s fine, Anya,” she said. “Bye.”

Instead of leaving, Anya walked over just as Clarke was sitting up. “Hi,” Anya said. “I’m Lexa’s roommate.”

“I’m Clarke,” she replied with a smile. Clarke figured she looked like a wreck, but this woman seemed so friendly. 

“The painter,” Anya said. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

Clarke looked over at Lexa who rubbed her eyes and mouthed ‘sorry.’ Lexa must have told her roommate about Clarke and that meant something. 

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Clarke said. 

“Introductions are over which means we are going to my bedroom now,” Lexa said, reaching for Clarke’s hand. 

Halfway to Lexa’s bedroom as the woman dragged her, Clarke turned back and shrugged at Anya. “I guess I got her all worked up earlier,” she said. “We’ll talk soon.”

Clarke could hear Anya’s laugh even after Lexa closed the door. “I think I promised you a luxurious bathing experience,” Lexa said, reaching for the bottom of Clarke’s shirt. She pulled it off. 

“You did promise me that,” Clarke said, smiling. 

Lexa opened the door of her bathroom and Clarke’s jaw dropped open. “Holy shit!” she said. “Lexa, why do you ever leave this room?”

“Because I need food to survive,” she said as she pushed the jeans down her legs. Lexa tossed them on the bathroom counter. 

Clarke sat on the marble ledge of the giant tub and unzipped her boots. She kicked them off. Lexa was only in her bra and underwear when she turned the water on. She sat beside Clarke and reached over to help her unbutton her own jeans. 

“I will admit,” Lexa started. “If you were in here all the time, I would probably survive.”

Clarke’s head fell back as she laughed. “I may not provide anything of sustenance,” she said. “But there is something you can eat.”

“I love when you talk dirty,” Lexa said, moving to her knees in front of Clarke. 

* * *

They finally sat in the warm water with lit candles surrounding them. It was such a romantic atmosphere for the dirty deeds they had just performed on each other not five minutes before. Now, Clarke was exhausted. There was more than enough room to fit them both inside the tub and to completely spread out. Clarke was sitting across from Lexa, grinning at her over the rim of her refilled wine glass. 

“Do you bathe with people often?” Clarke asked.

“No,” Lexa said. “Only a few people have been in here. Anya likes to steal it while I’m gone.”

“Who else has been in here?” she asked.

“Is this another one of your subtle questions?” Lexa asked, chuckling. 

“I don’t think I was being subtle this time,” Clarke joked. 

“I guess not,” she said. “Well, you’ve been in here. Anya. And an ex was in here a long time ago. Maybe a few other people here and there.”

Clarke hummed as she took a sip. “Let’s not talk about exes,” she said.

“Deal,” Lexa replied, leaning back. She closed her eyes. “I wasn’t planning on it anyway.”


	10. Chapter 10

Lexa realized she had forgotten to get out towels. While Clarke climbed out of the tub, she quickly grabbed two towels from the closet and closed the door once more. She had also forgotten about the paintings at the bottom of the closet. Thankfully, Clarke did not notice. Lexa tossed a towel at Clarke who wrapped it around her body. 

“I should get going before I can’t find a ride home,” Clarke said, gathering her clothes from the floor. 

“I can drive you home,” Lexa said. “Let me get dressed and I’ll have my car brought around.” 

“Well, since you’re driving,” Clarke said. “We don’t have to hurry.” 

“No, we don’t,” Lexa said, but her mind was elsewhere. 

Lexa was thinking about the paintings in her closet, her mother, and now Echo. It was hard to believe that her father had the nerve to reprimand her on Friday when he was planning on bringing his girlfriend to Sunday dinner who was thirty years his junior. The worst part about it was that it was her mother’s birthday. Now that the alcohol had worn off, she could see clearer. 

Clarke carried her clothes out of the bathroom and laid them on Lexa’s bed. 

“You have the biggest bed I have ever seen,” Clarke said, crawling across her comforter. 

“How else would I have my orgies?” Lexa asked. 

“You do not!” Clarke said, staring at her with squinted eyes. 

Lexa laughed as she fell back on the bed. She turned her head to look at Clarke. “No orgies,” she said. 

“Threesome?” Clarke asked. 

“Maybe once or twice but never in this bed,” she replied. “You?” 

“Once,” Clarke said. “With my ex-husband.” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow at her, obviously stunned by the news of her being married previously. “So... you’re divorced?” Lexa asked. “Are you bi?” 

“Yes,” she said. “And yes. I’m pretty sure that you promised me no exes talk earlier.” 

“You’re the one who started the conversation by asking about orgies,” Lexa said, laughing. 

Lexa moved so she was lying beside Clarke. Her hand reached out and pushed the towel open. The move made Clarke smile. Lexa trailed her fingers over Clarke’s stomach and down her thighs. 

“How many women have you been with?” Clarke asked. 

“Oh, no no,” Lexa said, sitting up on her knees. “I’m not answering that question. Not if you want me to touch you again.” 

“Fine,” Clarke said. “But don’t get me going again or I’ll fall asleep over here and I don’t think you would appreciate that.” 

Lexa chuckled. “Come on,” she said, crawling over Clarke to sit back on her thighs. “I can keep you awake. I’ve done an excellent job of keeping you awake thus far, haven’t I?” 

“Didn’t mean to trample on your ego, Lexa,” Clarke teased. 

“You have deeply offended me, Clarke,” Lexa joked. “And you shall be punished.” 

* * *

Anya was laying on the couch when they finally emerged from Lexa’s bedroom. She must have been asleep but woke up when she heard them. 

“I’ll be back in a bit,” Lexa said. “I’m going to drop Clarke off.” 

“She doesn’t want to stay the night?” Anya asked, stretching her arms over her head. 

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Goodnight, Anya,” she said as she pulled open her apartment door. 

“Clarke, I sincerely apologize for my best friend’s rudeness,” Anya said. She put a hand to her chest as a show of sincerity. “We should get lunch sometime. Come by L'Agneau and I’ll make you something nice.” 

“Thank you,” Clarke said with a smile. “I might take you up on that.” 

Lexa shot her a glare before pulling the door closed. Obviously Clarke had won Anya over. She could not blame her roommate for being entranced. 

“I like her,” Clarke said. 

Lexa looked over at Clarke in the elevator. “She likes you, too,” Lexa said. “She doesn’t promise meals to just anyone.” 

“Really?” Clarke asked. 

“Really.” 

Lexa parked outside of Clarke’s building. The blonde looked over at her and sighed softly. “Now, I’m going to lean in and kiss you, okay?” she asked. “But this is definitely not a ‘goodbye kiss’ in the traditional sense. This is an ‘I want you all hot and bothered until next weekend’ kiss, yes?” 

“And you’re so confident that I’ll be free next weekend?” Lexa asked. She was grinning. 

“You’ve been free for the past three weekends, Lexa,” she said. “I’m basing that off previous behavior.” 

“Does this kiss mean that I cannot sleep with anyone else through the week?” Lexa asked. 

“You can do whatever you want,” Clarke replied. “But I won’t have the time to sleep with anyone else, so I _personally_ will have to wait for you. Your sex life is your own business.” 

Lexa laughed softly until Clarke’s lips were on hers. Clarke led the kiss, her hands moving to cup Lexa’s cheeks, and her own gripping Clarke’s thigh. It turned heated quickly and Lexa was so glad her windows were darkly tinted. 

“That’s what you can think about while you’re fucking those other girls, Lexa,” Clarke said as she climbed from the car. She had pulled away suddenly. Lexa felt like she had whiplash. 

Clarke did not look back before starting up the stairs to her apartment. Lexa had no idea what to think of Clarke’s statement. She had not previously thought that Clarke was a jealous person. On the drive home, she decided that Clarke’s statement was not jealousy but a fierceness that Lexa had not seen before. Clarke was confident in her own abilities to satisfy her which Lexa would never deny. 

“I totally get it now,” Anya said as Lexa came back into the apartment. 

“Get what?” she asked. 

“The whole Clarke thing,” she replied. 

“The Clarke thing?” Lexa asked. 

“Her power over you,” Anya said. “I’m pretty sure that I could turn gay for her.” 

“Okay,” Lexa said, sighing. “For one thing, you’ve gone gay, as you so graciously call it, for plenty of women. For two, Clarke does not have power over me.” 

“Don’t do the counting thing,” Anya said. “And you know I don’t like labels. I’m just saying that she’s very pretty and nice and I think you like her.” 

“Are you wanting to be homeless?” Lexa asked. 

“Fine, I’ll let it go for tonight,” she said. “But if she asks, I was serious about the food.” 

Lexa watched as Anya finally went into her own bedroom. She poured herself a drink at the bar and stared out at the city as she sipped it. The paintings lingered in her mind. She really needed to do something about them before Clarke found out it had been her who purchased them. 


	11. Chapter 11

Clarke stayed up until the early hours of Monday morning. Inspiration had struck her as soon as she entered her apartment. She had tried to hold off until the next day, after work, but was unable to sleep with the picture in her mind. Realistically, Clarke knew exactly who her inspiration for this piece was. She drew out the eyes and the face paint surrounding them but decided she could wait to start painting it until tomorrow. She slept easily once the idea was out of her mind and on a canvas. 

That night, Clarke dreamed of a warrior Lexa. Obviously, her painting idea had slipped into her dreams.  She woke up extremely turned on and had to take a long shower before leaving for work. 

Clarke decided to walk to work instead of calling for a car since she had so much on her mind. Her night with Lexa had been nice. Unlike some of the other people she had slept with since her divorce, there was no pressure with Lexa. Lexa wanted the same things as she did and that was refreshing. As compatible as they were sexually, Clarke realized they were very different. Lexa’s apartment alone told her that. 

“Good morning, Alie,” Clarke said as she entered the gallery.

“Where is my datebook?” Alie asked in lieu of a greeting.

“On your desk in the back,” she replied. Alie nodded and went to her back office.  When she came back out, the book was in her hand. “ We have another opening to plan.  I just received a call from the mayor. He wants us to host.”

“Here?” Clarke asked. 

“ Yes,” she replied. “You can work out the details with his assistant.” 

“I’ll get started on it right away,” Clarke said, thankful for the distraction. 

“I was thinking that you could bring Bellamy as your date,” Alie said. “It isn’t for a few weeks, but I know he’s free that weekend.”

“Oh,” Clarke said, keeping her eyes down on the to-do list she was making for the day. “I have a date.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet  _ him _ ,” Alie said. 

Clarke could tell  her boss  felt a bit scorned by the news.  The emphasis Alie put on her date’s gender annoyed Clarke. She would have to ask Raven to come. Raven always enjoyed getting drunk on someone else’s dime, especially when she was drinking expensive champagne.

Raven was not home when she got off work that afternoon. She grabbed her canvas from behind the TV where she had put it to dry and propped it up on her easel. She was confronted with the eyes from her dreams last night. After spending some time mixing paints, she finally found the perfect green color. It was not exact from her subject, but it was impossible to match the exact green of Lexa’s eyes without the spark of her real ones. 

Clarke lost track of time and did not look up from her painting again until she heard her apartment door opening. She looked back to find Raven laying a takeout bag on her counter. 

“Who are you painting?” Raven asked.

“No one in particular,” Clarke lied. “Where have you been?”

“Had to stay at work late,” she replied. “Maybe those bastards will finally give me that promotion.”

“I’ll call down there for you if you want,” Clarke said. “I can be very mean if I try.”

“Clarke, that’s a very sweet offer but completely untrue,” Raven said, taking the food from the bag. 

“I can be mean,” she argued.

“No, you can’t,” Raven said again. “Remember that time some guy ran straight into you on the subway? You apologized to him.”

“That was different,” Clarke said. “If you hadn’t of stepped in, I would have really let him have it.”

Raven laughed. “Oh, Clarkie,” she teased. “It’s adorable when you try to be tough.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and took out two forks from her drawer. She handed Raven a paper towel. “Do you want to be my date for an art gallery opening?” she asked.

“When is it?” she asked. 

“Three weeks from now,” Clarke replied.

Raven sighed. “Mom’s making me go home that week,” she said. “I accidentally FaceTimed her the other day and she said I’m too skinny and she’s worried about me. She said that New York food isn’t good for me or something.”

“My mom says I spend too much money eating out,” Clarke said. “I wish she could see how tiny my kitchen is.”

“What kitchen?” Raven joked with her mouth full of food. 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Ha ha,” she said. “She doesn’t even know that you buy half of my food.”

It was Raven’s turn to roll her eyes. “You would die without me, blondie,” she said.

* * *

Clarke finished the painting a few days later. She did not have the heart to list it for sale yet despite it, most likely, being one of the best paintings she had ever completed. Instead, she hid it inside of her closet before taking a shower before bed. She debated texting Lexa before falling asleep. She typed out a few messages but none of them felt right .

That night, she dreamed of Lexa again. It was not the warrior Lexa as she had seen the night after they had sex. But it was a very sexual dream nonetheless.  Her morning shower almost made her late for work. 

Clarke:  _ I thought about you  _ _ this morning _

Lexa: _I_ _ n what context? _

Clarke:  _ You were naked _

Lexa:  _ Tell me more _

Clarke:  _ I’ll show you on Saturday _

Lexa:  _ I’m actually getting home Friday _

Clarke:  _ I’ll show you Friday then _


	12. Chapter 12

Lexa stared down at the almost empty glass of whiskey on the bar. She was debating on getting another drink when a woman approached her. When Lexa looked over, she was surprised to see a woman who looked like her father’s new girlfriend. Maybe she had drank a few too many, but this woman had similarities to Echo. 

This did not stop Lexa from taking the woman back to her room. They made out against the back of her hotel room door. When Lexa opened her eyes to lead her back to the bed, she could have sworn it was Echo staring back at her. 

“Sorry,” Lexa said when she realized the woman was looking at her in question. “You just look like... Doesn’t matter. Where were we?”

“I think you were about to take me to bed,” the woman said, nibbling on her earlobe.

Lexa pulled away again. Her conversation with Clarke came to mind. Clarke had jokingly bit Lexa on the shoulder in the bathtub. Then Clarke admitted that she had no idea how people found earlobes fun to bite on. It had made Lexa laugh. They agreed that it was an unattractive move. 

“Are you okay?” the woman, Penny, asked. At least, Lexa thought that was her name.

“Yes, sorry,” Lexa said, leaning forward once more.

Lexa lead her back to the bed until the backs of Penny’s knees hit the mattress. They fell into a tangle of limbs and blankets as they continued to kiss, moving up to the top of the bed. Lexa began to push the woman’s pants down her legs when her phone buzzed. She ignored the ringing until it finally stopped. 

The woman’s lack of noises was unnerving. Penny was content to lay in silence. Even though she had slept with other women like this, Lexa had grown accustomed to moans and voices during sex. She refused to acknowledge that it was Clarke’s noises she had expected. She could not ignore the fact that it took imagining Clarke to finally orgasm. 

After the woman left, Lexa’s phone rang again. She pried open her eyes and pulled her head off the pillow before grabbing it from the nightstand.

“Hello?” Lexa asked.

“Did I  _ interrupt  _ anything?” Clarke asked.

“What?” 

“I tried calling earlier and you didn’t answer, so I assumed I interrupted something,” Clarke said.

“You’re not very subtle, Clarke,” Lexa said, rolling onto her back. “We’ve talked about this before.”

“Again, I wasn’t trying to be subtle,” she replied. 

“Did you need  something, or did you call to annoy me?” Lexa asked, laughing softly.

“No, I don’t need anything,” she said. “Well, what I need is impossible for  you to give me being so far away and I don’t think I want to start having phone sex tonight.”

“Phone sex can be kind of fun though,” Lexa said.

“No phone sex,” Clarke said, chuckling. “I’ve never done it and I don’t feel up to starting tonight.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to catch a jet home as soon as I can,” Lexa said, sighing dramatically.

“Oh, whatever,” she replied. 

“I could if you really wanted me to,” Lexa said. She was more serious this time. “I’m supposed to come home tomorrow anyway. I could blow off the job tomorrow.”

“You’ve already fucked another girl tonight,” Clarke said. “I think I’ll wait until you’re a little more needy. You should be good by tomorrow.”

“Are you calling me a sex addict?” Lexa asked, feigning surprise.

“Aren’t you one?” she  asked .

Lexa did not answer. She did not feel like she was addicted to sex, but she had always used sex to solve her problems since she was old enough to know what it was. Most of the people she was closest to  had no idea how much sex Lexa truly had. Anya was probably the closest to knowing the truth. She realized the odd feeling she had in her chest now was guilt. Lexa felt guilty for having sex tonight.

“See you tomorrow, Lexa,” Clarke said. “I’m falling asleep.”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow night,” she replied before hanging up.

Lexa had trouble sleeping that night. When she finally did, she dreamed of a woman falling from the sky. Lexa saw eyes as blue as the sky before jerking awake. It was impossible to remember once she was fully aware that she had woken from a dream, but her conversation with Clarke the night before came to mind. 

* * *

Lexa arrived at her apartment around seven that night. The first thing she noticed was Clarke’s paintings on their couch. The second thing she noticed was their dining table full of food. Lexa tossed her bag on the chair. 

“Anya?” Lexa asked. “What the hell is going on?”

“I’m trying out a new dish and you’re going to pretend to be a customer,” she replied, carrying another plate out. “You’re familiar with roleplay, yes?”

“That explains the food,” Lexa said, motioning toward the canvases on their couch.

“Oh, right,” Anya said. She wiped her hands on the apron around her waist. “I remembered those in your  closet, and I didn’t want to forget to ask you about them. They’re Clarke’s, right?”

Lexa rolled her eyes as she grabbed them and carried them back to her linen closet. She closed them inside where they had been previously. She mentally reminded herself to dispose of them somehow before Anya brought them out while Clarke was here.

“Sit, sit,” Anya said, pushing her best friend toward a chair at the table.

“I can’t even use the bathroom?” she asked. “I haven’t peed since before my flight.”

“Pee later,” she replied. 

“I have to pick up Clarke,” Lexa said.

“Great!” Anya said, excitedly. “You two can both try my dishes. Go get her now.”

Lexa stood once more. “You really annoy me, Anya,” she said on her way to her bedroom once more.

“You love me!” 

Lexa could not argue with that, but right now she did not feel particularly attached to the woman. She firmly believed that she could love someone and not like them. For example, Anya right now and her father most days. 

As Lexa drove to Clarke’s apartment, she took her time. The paintings were on her mind and she sincerely hoped that Anya did not bring them up in front of Clarke. Anya would not do that, Lexa knew, but it was still a fear.

Lexa:  _ I’m outside _

Clarke:  _ Ok. Give me a sec _

Clarke came bouncing out of her building five minutes later. She had on a smile as she pulled open Lexa’s car door. There was a dark-haired woman watching the car from the doorway. The woman’s arms were folded tight against the chilly wind and she did not look happy from the doorway.

“A friend of yours?” Lexa asked as she pulled away from the curb.

“That’s my best friend, Raven,” Clarke said. “She doesn’t trust you. Don’t take offense. She barely trusts me.”

“Well, just to warn you,” Lexa said. “Anya has cooked us an entire dinner tonight.”

“Yum,” Clarke said. “No one has cooked for me in a long time.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Not all of  us can afford personal chefs, Lexa,” Clarke teased. 

"I don't have a personal chef," Lexa said.

"Your best friend just happens to be a head chef," she said dramatically, using air quotes around 'best friend.' "Right."

Lexa laughed at that but did not argue further.


	13. Chapter 13

Clarke texted Raven as soon as Lexa parked in front of her building that she had arrived safely. The doorman from the other day smiled at her, seeming shocked that she was here again, and nodded as he passed. Lexa led her past the lobby desk where a very bored looking young woman stood. Everyone in the lobby stared at Clarke as if she were a unicorn. It was unsettling.

“Anya is very... let's just say she’s enthusiastic about you coming over,” Lexa said when they were alone in the elevator. 

“She is?” Clarke asked. “I’m flattered. At least someone is.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too,” Lexa said. 

“Are you?” she said. 

“Yes,” Lexa said. “What is this? Why are you asking me that?”

“Just curious,” Clarke said with a grin. “Don’t get all defensive on me, Lexa.” 

Clarke laughed as she stepped out of the elevator. Lexa opened and closed her mouth but nothing came out. She watched the woman push open her apartment door.  It was still odd to Clarke that she knew someone who lived in an apartment like this. The smells coming from the kitchen and dining table were amazing. 

“Clarke!” Anya said, happily. “Oh, I’m so glad you could come. I hope you’re hungry.” 

“I am,” she replied with a smile. 

“Perfect,” Anya said, pulling out a chair. “Sit, sit, sit. What kind of wine do you like? White? Red?” 

“Red, please,” Clarke answered. “The sweeter and cheaper, the better.” 

Lexa chuckled as she took the seat across from Clarke. “I’ll have a white,” Lexa said.

“You’ll drink what I bring you,” Anya replied, looking at Lexa very sternly. 

Clarke  laughed as Anya disappeared  into the kitchen.  She looked out the wall of glass. Sirens could barely be heard so far up but Clarke could still see everything happening down below. Clarke had no idea why Lexa ever left her apartment. 

“So, how was your business trip this week?” Clarke asked. 

“Do you really want to talk about my work or is this another one of your  prying questions?” Lexa asked. 

“I can’t say that I’m not a little curious about the woman you slept with yesterday,” she admitted. 

“What do you want to know?” 

Clarke watched Lexa’s expression carefully.  She did not seemed bothered or embarrassed by the question but there was something about her that Clarke could not figure out.  She looked troubled about something. 

“What did she look like?” Clarke asked. “How did you meet her?” 

“I was at the hotel bar,” she replied, shrugging. “It wasn’t a big deal . She had brown hair. Short. I don’t know. I’ll have you know that she approached me.” 

“Oh, that makes me feel a lot better,” Clarke joked, rolling her eyes.  “I’m glad you made that clear.” 

Anya laid a glass in front of her, the wine bright red and extremely sweet , and places a glass of white wine in front of Lexa. Then  Anya lit the candle in the middle of the table . Clarke thought it was a very nice touch but Lexa glared at her. 

“Clarke, I wanted to formally invite you to dinner at my restaurant next weekend ,” Anya said. “It’s closed to the public, so it will be a small gathering but we’re celebrating  the award we won.”

“That’s so sweet of you to invite me,” Clarke said. “I’ll definitely be there. It works out perfectly because Lexa is joining me at the gallery the next weekend .”

“Perfect,” Anya said before leaving again. 

“Wait,” Lexa said, almost spitting out her wine. “I’m doing what?” 

“You have to pretend to be my date at an art show the next weekend,” she replied. 

“For what?” Lexa asked. 

Anya laid a salad in front of Clarke and she smiled up at the woman. This was, by far, the fanciest meal she had ever been served in someone’s home. It was an entire experience with the background of the city. Lexa laid a cloth napkin across her lap as she was served her own salad. 

“Alie wanted me to bring Bellamy and I told her I already had a date,” Clarke explained. 

“Bring Raven,” Lexa suggested.

“She’ll be out of town,” she said. “if you really don’t want to go, I’ll ask Anya.”

Lexa groaned. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll go.”

Clarke smiled at that. She enjoyed the slight jealousy vibe she got from Lexa. The thought made her nervous. She wiped her sweating hands on her jeans and lifted her fork to eat. Lexa was not jealous of anything. Clarke had a hard time defining their causal  relationship, but it did not involve jealousy. 

“For dinner tonight,” Anya started, carrying out two plates. “We have beef in a merlot sauce with potatoes rissoles.”

“It smells amazing, An,” Lexa said. 

“You’re so talented, Anya,” Clarke said. “Could you move in with me instead?”

“I would love to,” Anya said, wiping her hands on the apron. “But Lexa would die without me.”

“A little dramatic,” Lexa said, rolling her eyes. 

Clarke smiled at Lexa across the table. The candle lit between them made her green eyes glow and Clarke was suddenly turned on. The sight reminded her of the dream she had of her warrior Lexa Clarke had grown attached to. 

“Anya,” Clarke said, practically moaning as she tasted the food. “This is amazing.”

“Thank you, Clarke,” she said, grinning. 

Anya left them alone to eat. The only sounds for a while was forks and knives on ceramic plates. It was surprisingly soothing to sit in silence. The soft city noises and the candle burning could have put her to sleep. 

“Can I ask you something?” Lexa asked. 

“Yes,” Clarke said.

“Earlier when you asked about Pearl...” Lexa started.

“Who is Pearl?” she asked before taking a bite of her food. 

“That’s not her name,” Lexa said, thoughtfully. “Doesn’t matter. When you asked about the girl I was with yesterday, you weren’t jealous. Right?”

“Jealous?” Clarke asked. “No. I wasn’t jealous.”

“Oh,” Lexa said. “That’s good.”

Clarke glanced at her and then look ed back down at her plate. She did not understand Lexa’s reaction to the answer. Lexa’s tone insinuated that she expected Clarke to be jealous. But when finding out that Clarke was not, she seemed relieved. 

“Why did you ask me that?” Clarke asked.

“Because you were weird on the phone last night,” Lexa said, shrugging. 

“I guess I was just a little surprised,” she replied. “I figured you would wait until we got together tonight.”

“Does it really matter?” Lexa asked. 

“I guess not,” Clarke said. “But I’ll have you know that I haven’t had sex since we were together last weekend.”

“Good for you,” she replied. Lexa refused to meet Clarke’s eyes. “You sound like Anya.”

“I guess I just feel a little weird about you sleeping with someone else every day of the week and then us hooking up on the weekends,” Clarke said. “What if you give me some kind of... I don’t know... disease or something?”

“You think I’m going to give you an STD?” she asked.

“Are you sure that the women you sleep with don’t have them?” Clarke asked. “Do you make them get tested?”

“No,” Lexa replied. “But I didn’t ask you to get tested either.”

“It doesn’t matter, Lexa,” Clarke said. “Just drop it.”

“Fine,” Lexa said. “But, for the record, I don’t have an STD.”

“Neither do I,” she said. “And I would like to keep it that way.”

“Then I’ll just stop sleeping with other people,” Lexa said, rolling her eyes as she stabbed a potato with her fork.

“Great,” Clarke said. “Thanks.”

Lexa  actually did spit out her wine this time and immediately began to dab her mouth with the napkin on her lap. “You’re serious?” she asked.

“It would make me feel better,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa sighed. “Look,” she started. “I’ll... I can’t promise to never have sex with anyone else while I’m going but I’ll make sure they’re clean. Okay?”

“Are you going to ask for their test results?” she asked. 

“Clarke, you’re being extremely difficult,” Lexa said. 

“You are,” she replied. 

“Very mature, Clarke.”

Clarke stared at her. Her eyebrow was raised as if daring Lexa to say anything more. It was already hard enough for Clarke not to imagine Lexa having sex with some short, brown-haired girl on this table in front of her. The image was painful, as hard as that was to admit even to herself. 

Lexa stood and tossed her napkin on top of her half-full plate. “Come on,” she said, pushing her chair out of the way. 

“Where are we going?” Clarke asked, following her down the hall.

Lexa pushed open her bedroom door and their lips clashed together. In the background, Clarke barely heard Anya saying something about dessert. Lexa kicked the door closed with her foot before carrying her to the bed. 


	14. Chapter 14

Lexa kissed her way down Clarke’s stomach. The sounds Clarke made were the sounds she had missed. The girl from yesterday, whatever her name was, could never compare to anything Clarke did. The conclusion annoyed Lexa. It felt as if things revolved around the blonde now. 

_ ‘It has been, at least, a year since anyone was in this bed besides me or Anya _ ,’ Lexa thought. She pushed that realization away.

Lexa kissed the inside of her thigh. There was something stopping her from moving forward with their sex act. Normally, they would be finished with round one and prepping for the second.

“Something wrong?” Clarke asked, pulling herself up on her elbows.

“Not exactly,” she said. Lexa looked up at her from between her legs. “I was just thinking about what you said. Maybe you’re right.”

“I love hearing that I’m right,” Clarke said, smiling wide. “What am I right about this time?”

“You’re cocky,” Lexa said. “But I meant about the whole sex during the week thing.”

“What?” she asked, sitting up fully now. 

Lexa pushed her back down against the pillows. Her hand moved to start rubbing Clarke. The blonde moaned. 

“I think it’s a good idea for me to... slow down, so to speak,” Lexa continued. 

“Yeah,” Clarke whispered, rolling her hips. 

“So, you agree?” Lexa asked. Her fingers never stopped moving. 

“Agree,” Clarke repeated, biting down on her bottom lip. “Sure.”

Lexa grinned and kissed the inside of her other thigh. “Good,” she whispered into her skin.

* * *

When Lexa woke up, it was still dark  outside and she could feel Clarke breathing on the back on her neck. She felt panicked. It was only when Clarke sighed softly and rolled to her other side that Lexa relaxed a little bit. There was no reason to panic. Lexa had accidentally slept over at Clarke’s house just a few weekends ago. 

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered, rolling on her back. 

Lexa looked over at the blonde who was sleeping peacefully. She opened her mouth to say her name again but stopped. Clarke reached out for something as she turned on her side to face Lexa again. Then Clarke’s hand met Lexa’s bare thigh and she stopped moving altogether. As annoying as the entire sleeping situation was, there was no way Lexa was going to wake her up now.

* * *

The next time Lexa awoke, it was to the sound of laughter coming from outside her bedroom door. At first, she only heard Anya’s voice and then she realized Clarke was the one she was talking to. Lexa stomped into the bathroom and started the shower. By the time she emerged from her bedroom with wet hair and clean clothes on, Clarke was sitting on her counter in one of Lexa’s old college shirts and pajama shorts. She was sipping from a mug as Anya cooked at the stove. They both looked over at her and smiled. 

“Good morning, grumpy,” Anya said. 

Clarke crossed her legs on the counter and laid the mug beside her. “Your dad owns  Patech ?” she asked. 

“What?” Lexa asked.

“Anya told me that your dad owns PaTech,” Clarke said. “You never told me that.”

“You never asked,” Lexa replied. 

Clarke rolled her eyes at that. “Next time I’ll ask if your family owns a huge tech company,” she said. 

“You’re wearing my clothes,” Lexa said. “And you spent the night.”

“Good observations, Lex,” Anya teased. 

Clarke climbed off the counter. “I’ll get my stuff,” she said before walking back into Lexa’s bedroom. 

Anya was glaring at her and Lexa was almost positive she was threatening her with a spatula. She glanced at the door to her bedroom to make sure Clarke was not secretly watching them or something.

“Ask her to stay for breakfast,” Anya whispered fiercely.

“No,” Lexa whispered back.

“Yes,” she replied. 

“No,” Lexa said again.

Clarke came out of the bedroom in her clothes from the night before. She grabbed her purse from the chair by the door. Part of Lexa wanted to stop her, but it felt impossible. There was no reason for Clarke to stay any longer. They had already had  sex. Lexa could still feel Anya’s glare. 

“Clarke, let me give you a ride home,” Anya said, laying her spatula down and turning off the stove. 

“You don’t have to, Anya,” Clarke said. “I can call for a car.”

“No, really,” she replied. “I’m grabbing my keys now.”

Anya grabbed her own purse and started for the door. Once Clarke was out of the apartment, Anya looked back at Lexa standing across the open space. “Cook your own breakfast,” Anya said.

Lexa rubbed her eyes after the door shut. She went back into her bedroom with a mug of coffee Anya thankfully made. The clothes Clarke had been wearing before were folded on her unmade bed. The sight annoyed her so much that she knocked them on the ground before slamming the bathroom door closed behind herself. 


	15. Chapter 15

“I’m excited about your dinner on Saturday,” Clarke said.

Anya smiled and glanced at her from the driver’s seat. “I’m excited to meet your best friend,” she said.

“I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you,” Clarke said. “She’s mean as hell to most people and she’s grumpy. Kind of like Lexa is. I think they’d get along.”

“Probably so,” she replied, laughing. “I’m sorry about her, by the way. She's... Well, I could lie and say she’s just in a bad mood. But she’s normally like that. I’m sure you can see that by now.”

Clarke shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter to me,” she said. “I shouldn’t have stayed the night. I should have left before she woke up.”

“I promise to make you breakfast at some point,” Anya said. 

“Sounds very sexual, Anya,” Clarke joked, batting her eyelashes at the other woman. 

Anya laughed. She parked outside of Clarke’s building. This area was much different than Soho where she lived with Lexa. There was a part of her that feared Clarke walking in this area alone. It was wrong of her to feel that way. But Clarke was so small and innocent looking.

“I’ll pick you up next weekend,” Anya said. 

“No, I can walk,” she said, grabbing her purse from the floor of the car. 

“No,” Anya said quickly. “I’ll drive you.”

“Okay,” she said. “Thank you. Text me, okay?”

Anya smiled and nodded. She did not leave the curb until Clarke was out of sight inside her building. On the way home, she imagined what Clarke’s apartment was like. If Anya did not have Lexa, she would not live in an apartment nearly as amazing as the one she did live in. However, living alone was enticing. Lexa was gone so much though that it almost felt like living alone. 

Anya knew how lucky she was to have such an incredible best friend. She was also aware of what an idiot her best friend was. Clarke seemed like an awesome person and Lexa was acting blind to that fact. 

Lexa was sitting on the couch, doing something on her phone, when Anya got home. “Well, that was an eventful morning,” she said.

“I’m ordering bagels to be delivered,” Lexa said. “You want an everything bagel with that vegetable cream cheese?”

“Whatever, Lexa,” she said.

“Don’t get  pissy at me or I’m not ordering you anything,” Lexa replied.

“I was having a good time with Clarke before you kicked her out,” she said.

“Anya, I hate to break this to you,” Lexa said. “But Clarke and I are both happy with our arrangement.”

“Something is wrong with the two of you,” Anya said. 

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” Lexa said. 

“All because Co-” Anya started.

“Don’t,” Lexa said quickly and loudly. “Don't you dare finish that sentence. This has nothing to do with her.”

“Fine,” Anya said. “But just for the record, I’m driving Clarke and her friend to dinner on Saturday. You’re welcome to join us.” 

Anya escaped into her bedroom. She took a long, hot bath and tried not to let the stress of Lexa’s love life ruin her bathing experience. But it proved to be impossible. Lexa was impossible.  Anya knew this was not going to end well. Her best friend was one of the smartest and also dumbest person she had ever met. 

Since seeing Costia at her restaurant a few weeks ago, Lexa had been extra ‘heart in a box’ as Anya called it. Then, of course her father had to drop a bomb on her too. Lexa was overwhelmed by her life right now. In Lexa’s normal reality, she dealt with  her feelings through meaningless hookups. It made sense to Lexa. It sucked that Anya could not just slap Lexa into reality. Living this way was not going to end well, Anya knew, but she could barely make relationships work either. 

The last date Anya had been on was with a guy who was twenty years older than her. As nice as he was, it just did not make sense. They did not have a strong enough connection for her to accept a second date. The man had money and influence, but most of the people Anya met fit that category. 

By the time she climbed out of the bath, their breakfast had arrived. Lexa was spread out on the couch in front of the TV, so Anya sat in the recliner. 

“Listen, Lex,” Anya said. “I’m sorry for pushing you earlier. It’s your life and I should respect that.”

“What did you do in the bath?” Lexa asked, her mouth full of bagel. 

“Nothing,” she said. “I was just thinking about... things.”

“Yeah?” Lexa asked. “Thank you for not saying it.”

“I’m actually glad you found someone who seems to share your view of relationships,” Anya admitted. 

Lexa nodded. “Me too,” she said. 

Anya felt a weight lift off her chest. She grinned as she watched her best friend eating and watching whatever silly rerun was on their television. She may not understand everything her best friend did, but Lexa was the closest thing Anya had to family and she loved her like crazy. 


	16. Chapter 16

Clarke laid her outfit out for Saturday evening. She had been forced to buy new clothes for the dinner at Anya’s restaurant. Nothing she had looked good enough to wear. There would probably be important people at there and she wanted to make a good impression. It did not help that Lexa would be there. 

“You’re going to look so hot,” Raven said. "Sorry I can't go by the way. My stupid boss changed the project deadline."

"That's okay," she replied. "I totally understand crazy bosses."

Raven was sitting on the floor against the opposite wall. After spending time in Lexa’s apartment, it felt _insulting_ to have to live in this four hundred square foot space now. Thinking of Lexa gave her a headache. 

“I hope so,” Clarke said. “I bought the lowest cut dress I could find.” 

“Your boobs will practically be falling out,” Raven said. “I mean that in a good way. How are you trying to kill anyway?” 

“No one,” Clarke said. “I just want to look hot as you said.” 

“Speaking of, that guy from the first floor told me to ask you out again,” she said. 

“The weird one or the hot brother?” Clarke asked. 

“The hot one,” Raven replied. 

Clarke hummed as she thought about it. 

* * *

Clarke did not have to wait long before she saw the hot brother again. He was checking his mail when Clarke returned home from work Friday. She pretended not to notice him as she stopped at her own mailbox on the other side of the hallway. 

“Clarke?” the guy asked. 

“Yes,” she replied, turning to face him. “Oh, hey.” 

“Dylan,” he said, pointing to himself. 

“Right,” Clarke said. She, of course, had not known his name before this. She did not even remember his weird brother’s name right now despite living above him for years. “It’s nice to see you again.” 

“Would you... maybe want to go out with me tonight?” Dylan asked. 

“I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you,” she said. “But could we maybe skip the dinner? I could come down to your apartment a little later tonight.” 

“Oh, s-sure,” he replied, nervously. 

Clarke grinned and nodded, clutching her mail to her chest. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll come down around nine?” 

They went their separate ways after agreeing on that time. Clarke was kind of excited, she realized, since she had not slept with anyone other than Lexa in over a month. It did not make sense for her to not be sleeping with other people when Lexa was sleeping with, _apparently_ , anyone she could. Not that Lexa’s sex life outside of herself mattered to Clarke. 

When Clarke went down to Dylan’s apartment that evening, he opened the door immediately. Clarke noticed soft music in the background. She appreciated his efforts. It had been a while since she slept with someone she barely knew, and it was a little exciting. The last person this happened with was Lexa. 

Clarke swallowed the sudden rush of guilt she felt as she accepted the drink Dylan handed her. She took a long drink and realized that it reminded her of Lexa drinking the whiskey she liked. It was becoming too much. She needed a distraction. 

When Dylan started kissing her, Clarke returned it. Her back was now laying on the couch cushions as he laid over her. A brief image of Lexa appeared in her mind that she quickly pushed away. She thought of all the girls that Lexa had probably slept with last week. It was not fair that Clarke would wait for the weekend when Lexa certainly was not. Sleeping with this one guy would not matter to Lexa anyway. 

“You okay?” Dylan asked, breathlessly. He kissed his way down her neck and shoulder. 

Clarke flipped them over so that she was sitting on top of him before pulling off her shirt. “Yes,” she replied. 

* * *

Lexa: _Are you still going to dinner tomorrow?_

Clarke did not see the text until she was walking up the stairs two hours later. Lexa must have sent this in the middle of Clarke having sex. A part of Clarke was happy that she had not heard the notification. 

Clarke: _Yes_

Lexa: _Do you mind if I come pick you up?_

Clarke: _What happened to Anya giving me a ride?_

Lexa: _She has to get there early_ _and I figured you wouldn’t want to sit around and wait for hours_

Clarke: _Thanks_

After tossing her phone on her bed, Clarke started her shower. She washed away whatever lingering feelings of guilt remained. 

“Why should I feel guilty?” Clarke asked aloud. 

“What?” Raven called. “Are you talking to me?” 

“How the hell do you do that?” 

“Do what?” 

“Sneak in without me hearing you,” Clarke said. 

“Talent, I guess.” 

Clarke shut the water off and wrapped a towel around her body. She decided that she would casually bring having sex up with Lexa to see what she said. Clarke definitely remembered bringing Lexa’s sex life up with her, but the other woman had not seemed to eager to stop having sex with other women. Then Lexa had started touching her and she had not fully heard Lexa’s replies. Obviously, Lexa was happy with how things were right now. _Casual_. No attachments to the other woman. 

Clarke can do casual. She had been dating casually for the past eight years. 

“So, how was he?” Raven asked. 

Clarke shrugged. “He was okay,” she said. “When I led.” 

“Tough break,” she replied. “But, at least, you’ll be seeing your girl tomorrow. Right?” 

“Don’t say that,” Clarke said, a bit too forceful. “She isn’t my girl.” 

“Sorry,” Raven said, holding her hands up. “No need to bite my head off.” 

“Are you staying over tonight?” Clarke asked. 

“If you want me to,” she replied. 

Clarke smiled and pushed Raven to the other side of the bed. She climbed in behind her best friend. She wrapped an arm around Raven’s waist. They slept over at each other’s apartment so many times, but it was usually only when the other needed it. The last time Clarke slept over at Raven’s, something embarrassing hah happened to Raven at work. Clarke could not remember what, but she remembered Raven thinking her world was ending. 

_“Clarke, Clarke,” someone was saying._

_Clarke looked behind her to see Lexa standing there. She reached her hand out to hold Clarke’s. Their hands together felt warm and sweaty. Neither of those details bothered her._

_“You slept with that guy,” Lexa said. “You slept with him and you thought of me.”_

_Clarke opened her mouth to argue but no sound came out. She had no argument. It was true._

_“I don’t want you, Clarke,” Lexa added._

_Before Clarke could stop her, Lexa shoved her backwards with two hands and Clarke was falling off a cliff to her death._

Clarke’s eyes opened as her body jolted awake. She quickly looked back to see Raven still there. Thankfully, it was only a dream. 


	17. Chapter 17

Lexa parked her car beside the curb in front of Clarke’s apartment building. She watched a strange looking man or woman, Lexa could not tell, pass by her car. The person was staring from under the giant hood they wore. Honestly, Lexa had not cared much about the area of Clarke’s apartment until Anya brought it up the weekend before. Of course, she knew that it was, most likely, the only area of Manhattan that Clarke could afford and that thought made her sad. 

“Hey,” Clarke said, climbing into her car.

“Hey,” Lexa replied. 

“Where were you this week?” Clarke asked about halfway to the restaurant.

“Phoenix and Indianapolis,” she said. 

“I’ve never been to either of those places,” Clarke said.

“They are too exciting.”

Lexa handed her keys to the valet and a tip. She noticed the dress that Clarke wore now. It was a light blue color that complimented her well. The restaurant was dimly lit and quiet when they entered. Tables were scattered with handfuls of people Lexa assumed were family members of the staff there. Her assumption was proved correct when the waitress led them to ‘Anya’s’ table. 

Anya emerged from the kitchen once they took their seat. Her smile was wide and genuine. Anya refused to believe it was mostly her hard work that led them to winning the award despite how many times Lexa reminded her of the fact.

“Clarke, you look gorgeous,” Anya said, hugging her and kissing her cheek politely.

“Thank you,” Clarke replied with a grin.

“Sit, sit,” Anya said, pulling out the chair for Clarke to sit once more.

Lexa raised her wine glass at Anya. “This is all thanks to you, you know,” she said, winking at her best friend.

“Whatever, Lex,” she replied.

After Anya escaped back into the kitchen, Clarke raised an eyebrow at Lexa. “She doesn’t take compliments well?” she asked. 

“Nope, never has,” she replied.

“Speaking of, how long have you known Anya?” Clarke asked. 

“For a while,” Lexa said. “I guess since I moved into my first apartment in Manhattan. I took a yoga class and she was there. We made fun of the instructor together and then got coffees afterward. She was looking for a job and I needed someone to watch my apartment while I was traveling.”

“That’s sweet,” Clarke said. “I met Raven when I moved to New York, too. She had just moved into the building, too.”

“Speaking of your building...” Lexa started.

Clarke shot her a look and Lexa quickly closed her mouth. “What about it?” she asked defensively.

“Nothing,” Lexa said, bringing her wine glass up to her lips. 

The food was brought out a little while later. Anya laid a vodka cranberry in front of Clarke to which the blonde smiled at her. Anya was spoiling Clarke for reasons Lexa was unsure of. Perhaps Anya was trying to sweep the blonde of her feet  _ for  _ Lexa. It was annoying either way. 

* * *

Three hours later, Clarke was drunk. Lexa had her arm around the blonde waist as she led her out of the bar. After dinner, they had decided to get drinks at a bar. Anya had been let go early, her cleanup duties relieved for one night, and joined them. But now Anya was being no help for Lexa as she practically dragged Clarke through the doors. 

“But I don’t want to go,” Clarke whined.

Normal drunk people annoyed Lexa but she found Clarke’s drunkenness endearing. “I know,” she said. “But I have drinks at home and I also have a bed.”

“A comfy bed,” Clarke agreed. 

“Exactly,” Lexa said. “Now, I’m going to put you in the car and you’re not going to throw up.”

“ Nooo ,” she said, shaking her head. “I can’t throw up in a Mercedes.”

Lexa rolled her eyes but was grinning. She opened the passenger side door and helped Clarke inside. The blonde slumped into the leather seat. Lexa went around to her side. She had not had a drink since being at the restaurant. All she had ordered at the bar was a water to avoid having to call for a car.

Once they arrived, Lexa climbed out of the car and handed her keys to the doorman as she always did. “Thanks, Mike,” Lexa said.

“Of course, Lexa,” Mike said, grinning. “Hello, Ms. Greene.”

“Lexa gets to be called ‘Lexa’ and I have to be called ‘Ms. Greene’?” Anya asked, jokingly.

“I’ll remember that for next time,” he replied with a friendly smile.

“You always say that,” Anya said.

Clarke climbed out of the car and almost tripped in her heels as she started up the concrete stairs. Lexa grabbed hold of her waist to keep Clarke from falling. She giggled. The send made Lexa feel something odd in her chest. Lexa led the three of them to the elevator and helped Clarke into it.

“You have a doorman,” Clarke said, pointing her in the chest.

Lexa laughed. “Yes, he’s very nice,” she said.

“You’re very nice,” Clarke said. She cupped Lexa’s cheek in her palm.

Lexa could practically feel Anya’s eyes on the other side of her face as she met Clarke’s eyes. Had they been alone, Lexa would have kissed her. But, as it was, they were not alone, and she felt weird doing it in front of her roommate who was pushing for the two of them to move forward with their relationships as it was. 

“Clarke, you’re very drunk,” Lexa said. 

“Why aren’t you drunk?” Clarke asked. She walked over to the bar in their living room as soon as they entered the apartment. 

“Because I can handle my liquor better than you,” Lexa teased. “Plus, I didn’t get a drink at the bar. I had to drive, remember?”

Clarke grabbed two glasses from behind the bar and poured a shot of whiskey into both. She brought it over to Lexa with a grin. “Well, now you don’t have to drive,” Clarke said. 

Lexa took the shot from her and tapped Clarke’s glass with it. She took a sip. This whiskey was better than anything she could buy at a bar anyway. It just so happened to be her father’s favorite drink, too. 

It was not long before Lexa and Clarke were making out on the couch. Anya had retired to her own bedroom. Clarke’s legs wrapped around Lexa’s waist as they kissed, her soft moans filling Lexa’s senses. She was about to suggest they head to her bedroom when Clarke pulled away.

“I slept with someone yesterday,” Clarke said.

The statement did not register with Lexa at first. Then, she thought she heard wrong. 

_ ‘Clarke slept with someone? Didn’t we decide not to do that?’  _ Lexa thought. 

Lexa pulled away even more to sit back on her heels. She moved so that Clarke could sit up, too. “You did?” she asked.

“Yes,” Clarke said. “I just wanted to let you know before we went any further.”

“I thought we... didn’t you make this big speech last weekend about not sleeping with anyone?” Lexa asked.

“What?” Clarke asked, eyebrows drawn together. “No, we didn’t.”

“Yes, because I remember saying that I would slow down,” Lexa said. “So, I didn’t sleep with anyone this week.”

“So, what does that have to do with me?” Clarke asked.

Lexa opened her mouth to speak but stopped. It did not have anything to do with Clarke other than the fact that Clarke wanted her to be clean when they slept together. She thought back on their conversation and realized Clarke had never said she would stop  sleeping around. 

“I guess I just assumed...” Lexa said, shrugging. “Since you’re the one who brought it up last weekend.”

“I brought it up because I didn’t want to get an STD,” she said. “I wasn’t saying you couldn’t sleep with anyone else.”

Lexa looked over at her and grinned. “You’re right,” she said. “You didn’t say that.”

“I’m not saying that I... wouldn’t be okay with that arrangement,” Clarke said.

“What?” Lexa asked. 

“I’m just saying that it would be okay with me if you wanted me to... wait,” Clarke replied. “For you, I mean.”

“You mean... we’d be exclusive?” Lexa said.

Her chest filled with panic from the words alone. Exclusivity meant feelings and jealousy and commitment. Exclusivity was the exact opposite of what Lexa wanted. 

“Exclusive?” Clarke asked. “No, more like... friends with benefits. But only sleeping with each other.”

Lexa took a deep breath. “What if you want to go on a date with someone else?” she asked.

“A date?” Clarke asked, rolling her eyes. “That won’t happen.”

Clarke reached for her glass on the coffee table and drank the rest of it in one gulp. Lexa did the same with her own drink. Clarke moved to sit on Lexa’s lap now. She moved so her hands were under Lexa’s shirt and on her chest. 

“Are you jealous?” Clarke asked, leaning down to kiss her neck.

“Jealous of what?” she asked. Her hands moved to grip Clarke’s thighs.

“That I slept with someone else,” she said.

“I don’t get jealous,” Lexa said.

Clarke kissed up her neck. “He was not _nearly_ as good as you are,” she whispered in her ear.

“He?” Lexa asked.

Clarke pulled back to look at her. Her hands cupped Lexa’s cheeks. She smirked. “Yes,” she said. “Jealous now?”

“Not after you said I’m better,” Lexa said, grinning. 

“You are,” Clarke said. “Take me to your bedroom and show me how good you are.”

“First, you have to tell me something I do better,” Lexa said, moving Clarke’s hair behind her ear. 

Clarke leaned in again and whispered in her ear, “You eat me out better than anyone ever has.”

A shiver went down Lexa’s spine at the soft words. She held Clarke’s waist and stood. Lexa grabbed her hand to lead them to her bedroom. 


	18. Chapter 18

Clarke was quite sweaty when she emerged from under the comforter. She straddled Lexa’s hips as she sat on her. Her hips rocked on their own accord. Just the sight of Lexa, especially in this light, turned her on. It turned her on even more knowing that Lexa would only be sleeping with her. Clarke was going to be the only person now to see Lexa naked. Something about that was  hot . 

“Are you feeling better now?” Clarke asked.

“Much better,” Lexa said. She trailed her fingers up and down the inside of Clarke’s bare thighs. “Are you?”

“Yes,” she replied. 

Clarke moved to lay beside her. She stared up at the ceiling for a moment before turning to look at Lexa. “Were you serious earlier?” Clarke asked. “About not sleeping with anyone else?”

Lexa sighed softly and turned her head, so they were looking at each other. “I was serious,” she replied. “I think it’s a good idea. I just... now what the hell am I going to do while I’m gone during the week?”

Clarke laughed. “I guess we’ll have to try that phone sex after all,” she said. She stretched her arms over her head. “I’m going to have the worst hangover tomorrow.”

“Take some medicine before you go to sleep,” Lexa said. “You’ll be fine.”

“I’ll have to remember that,” Clarke said. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand. “Car should be here in twenty minutes.”

“You called for a car?” Lexa asked. 

“Yes,” she said. “You’re tired and it’s just easier.”

“You should buy your own car,” Lexa said.

Clarke laughed out loud to keep from being too embarrassed from the suggestion. “Yeah, okay,” she said. “Let me get right on that. I barely paid my rent this month. I would be out on the street if it weren’t for someone buying two of my paintings.”

“Yeah?” Lexa asked. She rolled over on her stomach and shoved her arms under her pillow. 

“I think the car thing is out of the question,” she said. “But it is a nice thought. I sold my old car once I moved here.”

“Maybe one day then,” Lexa said.

Clarke stood from the bed and gathered her clothes. Once she was dressed, she sat on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on.

“I should walk you out,” Lexa said, starting to sit up.

“No,” she said. “Stay in bed. I can find my way. Thanks though.”

Clarke checked her appearance in the en suite bathroom and pulled her hair up. It was a mess from the sex they had. The thought made her chest tighten. She already missed their sex.

“You’re still coming with me next weekend to the art gallery, right?” Clarke asked.

“Sure,” Lexa said. “What do you want me to wear?”

“Whatever you want,” she said. “I’m just wearing a dress and heels.”

“I’ll wear something nice,” Lexa said. 

Clarke pulled open Lexa’s bedroom door. She glanced back at the woman still in the bed. She wanted to say so many things but stopped herself from doing so. Anything she said right now she would regret later. 

“See you later, Lex,” Clarke said before pulling the door closed once more. 

Clarke smiled at Mike, the doorman, after he pulled open the taxi door for her. Clarke watched the city pass by her window as she left Soho and rode through a few neighborhoods. A part of her wished she had just fallen asleep in Lexa’s bed, but that would not be a good idea. Last weekend, it had not gone well when she did that.

“Thank you,” Clarke said after paying the driver. 

He drove away from the curb as soon as Clarke closed the door. Things would  definitely be easier with a car. But with cars came expected and unexpected expenses. Insurance and new batteries... Clarke had no desire to deal with any of those things. Finn had always changed her oil and fixed whatever was wrong with her car before they divorced. 

Clarke locked her apartment door, which she realized she forgot to do sometimes, and jumped into the shower. Once done, she got into bed. It was nowhere near as comfortable as Lexa’s bed. 

* * *

Clarke carried Alie’s datebook through the gallery room and knocked on the office door. “I have everything updated for the week,” Clarke said.

“Come in,” her boss replied. 

Alie’s office was always spotless despite Clarke never seeing her boss clean it. Sometimes she thought that Alie was a robot. Or maybe an alien.

“Here’s your datebook,” Clarke said, laying it in front of her.

“What did the caterer’s say?” she asked. “We ran out of champagne last time and that won’t happen again. Correct?”

“Correct,” Clarke said. “They promised to bring more than enough this time.”

“Did you use your stern voice or the annoying one?” she asked.

“Stern,” Clarke said. She was not in the mood to argue with her boss today. Actually, Clarke had never argued with Alie. She could not lose this job.

“That’s all,” Alie said. She had not once looked up at Clarke. Clarke was thankful for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all of the support
> 
> some of y'all are brutal lol


	19. Chapter 19

On Thursday, Lexa laid back in the hotel bed. She grabbed the TV remote and pressed the power button. She flipped through channels for a while before giving up on finding anything good enough to distract her from the boredom she was dying from. Lexa got out of the bed and put her shoes back on. 

“Whiskey, please,” Lexa said to the bartender. 

Lexa gave him her room number before turning to look at the other people sitting around the hotel lobby. There were a few people she could tell did not have a room here. They probably came here for the reduced-price drinks and quiet atmosphere. She figured they were parents. 

The thought reminded her of a text she had not yet opened. 

Echo: _Would you like to come to your father’s for dinner tomorrow night?_

Thankfully, the bartender handed her the whiskey as she read it. She sipped it as she thought of a reply. On one hand, she did want to see her father. On the other hand, Lexa did not want to go through another dinner with Echo. Lexa finished her drink and motioned for another. 

Lexa: _Sure. What time?_

Echo: _How about 6?_

Lexa: _I’ll be there_

Echo: _Me and your dad are excited to see you._

The text made Lexa want to throw up. Echo was trying to act like her stepmother or something. It was embarrassing for her, but she had no idea what Echo thought about the situation. She must feel just as awkward as Lexa did. Lexa was used to her father dating younger women. Echo was, most likely, not used to dating men thirty years older than herself. 

Lexa: _What are you wearing?_

Clarke: _Sweats and a tee shirt_

Lexa: _Sexy_

Clarke: _Sorry to disappoint you, let me get naked real fast_

Lexa: _That’s more like it_

A few minutes later, Lexa received a picture that made her choke on the whiskey in her mouth. She drained the rest of it quickly before heading off toward the elevators. She stared at the picture the entire ride up to her room. Clarke was topless and sitting in front of a mirror. 

Lexa: _Holy shit_

Clarke: _Does that response mean I’m doing the phone sex correctly?_

Lexa: _This is my new favorite picture_

Clarke: _Wow, that words are enough to get me off_

Lexa: _Really? I guess you have always been easy to please_

Clarke: _So rude_

Lexa: _I meant that in a good way, of course_

Clarke: _Are you touching yourself?_

Lexa: _Yes, are you?_

Clarke: _Yes_

Lexa had her hand down her pants when she received another picture. Clarke had removed her underwear for this one. Her legs were spread in front of the mirror. 

Lexa: _I’m done_

Clarke: _Me too_

Lexa: _You got off just from sending pictures to me?_

Clarke: _Yes_

* * *

“Who would I be in contact with if we have a problem with the systems?” the woman asked across the desk. 

Lexa glanced down at her cleavage. She was clearly trying to draw Lexa's attention to it anyway. This woman was practically throwing herself at Lexa and she was attractive. But the picture Clarke sent last night still weighed heavily on her mind. They had agreed to their arrangement and Lexa had no plans to betray that. 

“You would contact our IT department,” Lexa answered, clearing her throat. 

“So... do you have a personal number or...?” she asked. 

“I do,” Lexa said. She handed the woman one of her business cards. 

The cell number was technically her work cell phone but none of her clients had to know that. Clients felt better thinking it was her personal phone number. She had learned that from her father when she first started working for him and used it to her personal advantage a time or two. 

“I’ll be sure to call,” the woman replied, winking. 

On the flight home, Lexa received multiple texts from her. She ignored all of them. Echo texted her a few times throughout the day reminding her how excited she was. Lexa ignored those messages, too. 

Lexa: _Are you busy tonight?_

Clarke: _Not really, why?_

Lexa: _You owe me a favor for going with you tomorrow night_

Clarke: _What do you want?_

Lexa: _I want you to go with me to my dad’s for dinner_

Clarke: _Really?_

Lexa: _If you don’t mind_

Clarke: _Just tell me when and where_

Lexa: _I’ll pick you up at 530_

Once she landed, Lexa had to rush home to change. She showered as quickly as she could and threw on jeans. Anya was not home to slow her down either. Her car was already pulled around to the front of her building, thanks to the text she had sent Mike from upstairs ten minutes ago. 

Clarke was sitting on the steps of her building when Lexa arrived. Lexa climbed out of her car and walked around to pull open the passenger side door. 

“How long have you been sitting out here?” Lexa asked. 

“I don’t know,” Clarke said. “Five minutes maybe.” 

“You shouldn’t sit out here alone, Clarke,” Lexa said. She walked around to her side of the car. 

“Thanks for holding the door,” Clarke said. “But why can’t I sit outside of my own apartment?” 

“Because I’m pretty sure I just saw some guy getting mugged in an alley not too far from here,” Lexa said. She had not really seen any such act, but it happened around here. She was sure of that. 

“Whatever, Lex,” she replied. “You did not.” 

Lexa motioned toward some hookers standing at the corner. “You know those girls?” Lexa asked. 

Clarke pushed her shoulder which made Lexa laugh. “They’re just trying to survive like the rest of us,” she said, chuckling. 

“That’s true,” Lexa said. 

It took twenty minutes to get to her dad’s mansion. She typed in the gate code and drove up the driveway. Clarke was, of course, holding her comments inside. Lexa was appreciative of the effort. 

“Why did you want me to come with you tonight?” Clarke asked. 

“Because I didn’t want to suffer through a dinner alone with my dad’s teenage girlfriend,” Lexa joked as she parked her car. 

Clarke climbed out and glared, jokingly, at her over the hood of the car. “I’m the same age as her,” she said. “Remember?” 

“Yes, I remember,” she said with a wide grin. 

Lexa slid her sunglasses down again, so they rested on the bridge of her nose. Once she met Clarke on the other side of the car and walked beside her up the concrete path to the side door, she put an arm across Clarke’s shoulders. 

“Let’s roleplay that at some point,” Clarke said. 

They looked toward each other and laughed softly. 


	20. Chapter 20

Clarke had never seen such a nice home outside of television shows and movies. It was huge. Not only was it a mansion, but it also looked to have been professionally designed just as Lexa’s interior did. They were greeted by someone who must be a maid because she took their jackets before heading off into a hallway. 

“Lexa,” a man said, entering the hallway with a huge smile and his arms outstretched. “And who is this gorgeous woman?” 

“Dad, this is Clarke,” Lexa said. 

Clarke hugged the man back when he wrapped his arms around her. Lexa watched the two of them with squinted eyes. There was a woman standing in the foyer now, too, and she had to be Echo. The way she watched Clarke was unnerving. It was not until Lexa’s dad let her go that she relaxed. 

“I’m Daniel Woods,” he greeted. “It’s nice to meet you, Clarke. This is my girlfriend, Echo.” 

Lexa grabbed Clarke’s wrist as they walked through the foyer and into the living room. Clarke had a hard time imagining this room as a living room. It was huge and the ceiling had to be, at least, twenty feet high. There was multiple sitting areas and a large bar. 

Daniel walked to the bar. “What can I make you, Clarke?” he asked. 

He was already pouring two glasses of whiskey. Clarke had no idea how Lexa drank it so often. The night she drank it at Lexa’s was a bit easier because she was already tipsy. Lexa seemed to genuinely enjoy the taste of it. 

“White wine, please,” Clarke replied. 

“I thought you liked red,” Lexa said, only to her, and then took the whiskey from her father. 

“I do but only when it’s cheap and sweet enough to give me a cavity,” Clarke said softly. “You don’t drink that kind.” 

“Oh, you have quite the refined palette,” Lexa teased. 

Clarke knocked their shoulders together. “It takes a lot of work, Lex,” she said. “I can’t even tell you the amount of times I had to sneak out and get drunk in a field to enjoy the taste of Boone’s Farm.” 

Daniel handed Clarke a glass of white wine and then took a seat beside Echo on the couch across from them. He put a hand on Echo’s thigh and Clarke could tell that Lexa was avoiding their touches. She could understand why. It had to be weird for Lexa to see her father with someone the same age as the person Lexa brought to dinner. 

Daniel and Lexa talked for a while about business matters. Clarke could see how excited the business made Lexa. She spoke more animated than Clarke had ever truly seen. Lexa was most comfortable talking about the family business than feelings, that was definite. 

A man, who must be the chef, came into the room and announced that dinner was ready. Clarke followed Lexa into a surprisingly cozy dining room. There were flowers in the center and their places at the table were set. Clarke wondered if Lexa had warned her father that she was coming beforehand. 

The starter course was brought out which Clarke was happy she did not have to name. It tasted good which was all that mattered. Finally, the main course arrived, and the chef left them alone again. 

“Lexa, there’s actually a reason I wanted you to come over tonight,” Daniel said. 

Lexa looked up at him and laid her fork down. Clarke, respectfully, did the same. She felt extremely out of place here, but she was glad they were not the out-of-date table manners type. 

“I’ve given this a lot of thought,” he said. “And I think it’s time for you to step in as acting CEO.” 

The air was sucked out of the room as his announcement. Clarke, selfishly, thought of the new time she would get to see Lexa without all the traveling but quickly pushed those thoughts away. That was not important right now. 

Clarke looked over at Lexa who was staring at her father in, what must be, surprise. Obviously, Lexa had not been expecting this. 

“What? Why?” Lexa asked. “You always said you were going to work until you were sixty-five.” 

“Well, sixty-one is close enough, sweetheart,” he replied. 

Clarke could not read the expression on Lexa’s face now. She had expected this to be a joyous announcement for Lexa. Who would not be excited about taking over the family business? But Lexa had an odd look on her face as she stared at her father for a while, looked over at Echo, and then back at Daniel. 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Lexa finally said. 

Echo cleared her throat and then looked down at her lap. Clarke was very confused. 

“She’s pregnant,” Lexa said. 

Clarke gasped audibly, and then was embarrassed, but no one noticed. Everyone else was too busy staring at each other while opening and closing their mouths. This felt exactly like a dramatic moment in a soap opera, but this was real. 

“Yes, Lexa,” Daniel said, reaching over to lay his hand on Echo’s. 

Echo grinned, shyly, over at him and blushed. She looked genuinely happy, but Clarke could not help but think of how set her life now was. Whether this girl stayed with Lexa’s dad or not, she would always have more than enough money. 

Lexa started laughing. Clarke immediately turned to look at her, as if the woman had lost her mind, and saw Lexa covering her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

“What’s funny?” Daniel asked, just as confused as Clarke was. 

“It’s not funny,” Lexa said, still wiping the moisture away. “It’s just so unbelievable. Congratulations, I guess. Echo, I’m sure you’ll be a great mom.” 

Clarke stared over at Lexa and wanted to say something. She had no idea what she could say that would not offend someone. Lexa seemed... happy for them. This was not what Clarke expected. She now wondered what happened to Lexa’s mom. All Clarke knew was that she had died when Lexa was a baby. 

An hour later, Daniel was leading them toward the doors. The maid brought their jackets back. Clarke hugged him once more, from his lead, and then followed Lexa out the door. She swayed on her feet as they walked. 

“Keys,” Clarke said, holding out her hand. 

“What? No,” Lexa said, clutching them to her chest. 

“Yes, Lexa,” she said more sternly. “You’re drunk.” 

“I’m not drunk,” Lexa said. She could still roll her eyes which Clarke found annoying and relieving. 

“Yes, you are and I’m not riding with you,” she said. “I’ll stand in the middle of the driveway until you hand them over if you’re going to be difficult about it.” 

Lexa sighed and threw her keys over the hood of the car. Clarke grabbed them from the grass, where they landed behind her, and opened the passenger door for Lexa to get in. Before she did, Lexa leaned in and kiss Clarke fully on the mouth. It was sloppy but sweet. Clarke tasted expensive whiskey. 

Clarke felt nervous driving Lexa’s car. It did not help that Lexa kept turning the radio too loud. Clarke eventually turned it off all the way. 

“You’re no fun,” Lexa whined. 

“You’re obviously upset, Lex,” she said, sighing. “Talk to me. Echo is pregnant.” 

“So?” Lexa asked, slurring the word. “That’s what he gets. Babies suck. They cry and poop and throw up everywhere.” 

Clarke laughed as she stopped at a red light. “Well, that’s true,” she said. 

“And whatever,” Lexa said, waving her hand. It fell heavily back into her lap. “I’ll get the company anyway. A baby can’t do the job. Plus, my dad feels sorry for me. He’ll give everything to me.” 

“Why does he feel sorry for you?” Clarke asked. 

“Because my mom is dead,” Lexa said. She turned to stare out the window as they passed shops and apartment buildings. “And my dad stole my girlfriend.” 

Clarke’s heart sunk into her chest at her words. “What do you mean?” she asked. 

“He slept with my girlfriend,” Lexa said, looking over at Clarke. 

Clarke desperately wished she were not driving. She wanted to see Lexa’s expressions as she spoke. “When was this, Lexa?” Clarke asked. 

“Does it matter?” she asked. “He didn’t know we were dating.” 

“He didn’t know you were dating her?” Clarke asked to clarify. “And they had sex?” 

“Yes,” Lexa replied. “Can we get food? I want Taco Bell.” 

Clarke sighed. She still had so many questions, but it did not feel right to be talking about this when Lexa was so drunk. It felt like taking advantage of her. Clarke went through the drive-thru and then carried their food up to Lexa’s apartment. Lexa was obviously exhausted and still rather drunk. Clarke led her to her bedroom. 

“Let me take off these uncomfortable clothes,” Clarke said. 

Lexa laid back and Clarke unbuttoned her jeans. She pushed off her shoes and then slid the jeans down her legs. Once Lexa was changed into a tank top and pajama shorts, Clarke noticed that she was asleep. Her heart ached for Lexa. She was obviously upset about so many things that she kept hidden. 

Clarke put the bag of food in the fridge for Lexa to eat the next day. She thought about leaving, but she went back into Lexa’s room anyway. Maybe after their night, Lexa would feel differently about Clarke staying this time. She stripped down to her bra and underwear before joining Lexa in the bed to sleep. 


	21. Chapter 21

The first thing Lexa noticed when waking up the next morning was her head pounding. It felt like someone was actively stomping on her face. The second thing she noticed was the heat radiating off her body which caused her to be covered in a sheen of sweat. She pushed the pillow off her head and immediately squeezed her eyes shut. Lexa groaned loudly, in pain, as she pressed her face into the pillow again. 

“There’s water and medicine on your nightstand,” someone said.

Lexa thought it was Anya, but she rarely did things like that. Also, Anya had no way of knowing she would be hungover this morning. She pulled her head back to see Clarke standing in her bathroom with wet hair and a towel around her body. The image was hard to understand at first. 

Lexa must have stared at her for a long time because Clarke sighed, loud and dramatic. “I can shower again if you’re upset that I didn’t wait,” she said, looking over at her. Clarke smiled.

“If I didn’t think I was going to puke, I would take you up on that,” Lexa said before burying her face in the pillow again. 

A few moments later, Lexa felt the bed dip with Clarke’s weight. Lexa turned her head so she could see Clarke now sitting beside her. 

“I can’t believe I drank so much last night,” Lexa said, groaning again. 

Clarke shrugged as she brushed her hair. “It happens,” she said. 

“Thanks for getting me home,” Lexa said. She rolled over on her back and covered her eyes with her arm. “Sorry if I was difficult about it.”

“You weren’t difficult at all,” Clarke said. “It did feel a little weird to undress you when you were basically  unconscious, but I suffered through it.”

They laughed together for a moment. Lexa looked up at her again. “Thank you,” she said. “Sorry I dragged you with me last night. I wasn’t expecting that to happen.”

“Which part weren’t you expecting?” Clarke asked.

“The Echo being pregnant part,” Lexa said. “The part where I’ll be taking over the company now, I guess. I wasn’t expecting  _ anything  _ to happen honestly. I just thought they wanted to have dinner with me.”

Once said aloud, Lexa realized it had been years since she had dinner with her dad for no reason. She really should have known her father had a reason. Most conversations with him happened at company headquarters. The realization saddened Lexa quite a bit. 

“Well, I was happy to go with you,” Clarke said. 

Her words broke Lexa from her depressive thoughts. Lexa was secretly thankful that Clarke had stayed the night.

“Let’s do brunch,” Lexa said, sitting up slowly. “You want a mimosa?”

“Are you serious?” Clarke asked, excited. “ _ Yes _ .”

* * *

An hour later, Lexa was sitting on the patio of her favorite brunch spot with sunglasses covering her red, sensitive eyes. Her hangover was still present. The mimosa was helping a little bit though. Clarke and Anya were talking about some new shop opening in Manhattan they both liked. 

Lexa was trying to remember everything that happened last night. The last thing she remembered was her dad hugging Clarke before they left. It had made her furious. The hug at the beginning of the night had been annoying but, after finding out her father had knocked up a woman Clarke’s age, the second hug really pissed Lexa off. Lexa wanted to believe that her father did not find sexual pleasure in hugging Clarke, but she did not put anything past him now.

Lexa sometimes thought about what her father might be like had her mother survived giving birth. Perhaps he would not blame Lexa for her death and sleep around with any young whore he could find. Lexa imagined what her own life might be like.

“Give me your drink,” Lexa said, grabbing Clarke’s mimosa from in front of her.

Clarke did not argue, only rolled her eyes, and waved down the waiter to order another. “Here comes Raven,” she said. 

They all turned to watch a woman, who must be Clarke’s best friend, approaching them. She was talking, very animated, to someone on her cell phone. Clarke pushed the seat out from beside her and motioned for her to sit down.

“Sorry,” Raven said. “The asshole I’m buying the bike from is trying to charge me more now. Hi.”

Lexa was taken aback by this woman’s intensity. She had not expected someone so... so unlike Clarke. Clarke had not told her much about Raven, other than a few stories here and there, but Lexa had no idea what she was truly like. 

“I’m Anya,” Anya said. “Nice to meet you. I’m Lexa’s roommate.”

“Raven,” she replied. “And you must be Lexa.”

“Hmm, must be,” Lexa said. 

Lexa saw Clarke take a long drink from her peripheral vision. The sight was quite sexual. Lexa was thankful she was still wearing her sunglasses, so no one could see the way she was looking at Clarke’s best friend. Lexa realized she was trying to read Raven.

“Clarke didn’t tell me that you were so fiery,” Raven said, raising an eyebrow at Lexa.

“Fiery?” Lexa asked. “I prefer stoic.”

Lexa could have sworn she heard Clarke say something, or maybe just grunt, into her mimosa. 

“Too bad it isn’t your choice,” Raven replied. “I get to describe you how I see fit.”

“Good to know I can never trust you to describe me to anyone important,” Lexa said. She lifted her menu and opened it. Despite already knowing what she wanted, Lexa pretended to peruse it to avoid talking.

“Anyway,” Clarke said a little too loudly. “Raven, you’re picking up your motorcycle today?”

“Yep,” Raven replied, smiling wide now. “You guys ever ridden one?”

Clarke and Anya said no but Lexa nodded. “A few times,” she admitted.

“When?” Clarke asked.

“I’ve... known a few women who had them,” Lexa said. 

“Known?” Clarke asked. She laughed softly. “Are you a nineteenth century  aristocrat all of a sudden?”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to blunt about it,” Lexa said, keeping her eyes on Clarke’s now.

Clarke thought about it for a moment and then made a soft sound. “Known is definitely kinder,” she concluded. 

Lexa grinned as she lifted the mimosa to her mouth. The drink was working some kind of magic on her hangover and she almost felt human again.


	22. Chapter 22

Clarke wanted to bring up their conversation from the night before, but she had no idea how to do so without embarrassing Lexa. She always had a suspicious feeling that Lexa would not be open to the conversation either. It seemed like Lexa was a master of burying her feelings deep down and ignoring them. 

The waiter laid their checks in front of them after they brunched for an hour. She was not sure when brunch became a verb, but she liked it. The bill for her portion of the meal was almost fifty dollars. The mimosas had cost eight dollars each and she had three. Clarke put her credit card on top of the receipt as the waiter came around to collect them. 

“I’m paying for her, too,” Lexa said, motioning towards Clarke. 

“What?” Clarke asked. “No, I’m paying for myself.” 

The waiter seemed confused but took both of their cards. anyway Lexa turned to look at her when he was gone. 

“I wish you would have let me pay,” Lexa said. 

“Why?” Clarke asked. 

“Because,” Lexa said, shrugging. “I asked you to come here.” 

“Oh, like on a date?” she asked. 

It was a low blow, but Clarke was embarrassed that she had to think about the money at all. It seemed like no one else at the table had to. Not even Raven was as poor as she was. After her night at Daniel Woods’ home, she knew that Lexa had more money than she would ever admit to. 

“Forget it, Clarke,” Lexa replied. 

“Thank you,” she said, her cheeks feeling much too warm. 

Raven had to go pick up her new bike after brunch. Anya had to go to work, so now it was just the two of them. Instead of walking towards Lexa’s car, they started down the sidewalk. They walked in silence for a long time. 

“About last night...” Clarke started. She felt like the words just burst from her mouth on their own volition. 

“What about it?” Lexa asked. 

“What you said in the car,” she said. 

“What did I say in the car?” Lexa asked. She glanced over at Clarke and then kept her eyes forward. 

Clarke regretted saying anything now that she knew Lexa had no memory of the ride home. She wished she had kept her mouth shut but she did want to know more. “You told me about what your dad did,” Clarke said. “With your ex.” 

Lexa looked over at the building across the street, suddenly very interested in whatever was happening between a couple in front of it, but Clarke could see her eyebrows furrowed under her glasses. She did not say anything. 

“How old were you when that happened?” Clarke asked softly. 

Lexa shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “Why do you want to know?” she asked. 

“I’m just curious,” she replied. “You don’t have to tell me. I just thought you might want to talk about since you brought it up when you were so drunk.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lexa said. “I think I’m actually ready to go home. I still need to get ready for tonight. My dress is still at the tailor’s.” 

“You had your dress tailored?” Clarke asked. “Wait. You’re trying to distract me.” 

“And it worked,” Lexa said. “Yes, I had it tailored. It’s a dress I bought in Italy a few years ago. I never got around to it.” 

“Great,” Clarke said, throwing her hands in the air. “You’ll be wearing a fancy Italian dress. Can’t you, for once, be the bum of the two of us?” 

“Clarke, you are not a bum,” Lexa said, laughing. “You could wear a sack and still look good.” 

“Well, I practically will be wearing a sack compared to you,” she said. 

“Then let me buy you something,” Lexa said. “Perfect solution.” 

“The sack, it is,” Clarke said, smiling at her. “I’m never talking about money in front of you again.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes at that. “Money doesn’t matter, Clarke,” she said. 

“Only rich people say that,” Clarke said. 

“So, you’re telling me that when you lay down at night and think of something good that happened that day, it had something to do with money?” Lexa asked. 

“Don’t try your mind games with me,” she said, pushing her shoulder. 

Lexa weaved around a man walking very quickly as she laughed. “I’m just saying,” she said. 

“You just wouldn’t understand, Lexa,” Clarke said. “It’s stressful living in a town where just breathing costs a thousand dollars.” 

“I guess so,” she said. 

“My parents are doctors, by the way,” Clarke said. “So... I could call them. But they’ll try guilting me into moving back home and finishing my degree.” 

“Did you drop out of school?” Lexa asked. 

Clarke nodded. “Yes,” she said. “I dropped out after I got divorced.” 

Clarke looked over at her. They had never discussed her divorce other than mentioning having a threesome once. She had no idea how Lexa felt about her being previously married. Not that it mattered, Clarke concluded. They were not dating. 

“Were you married to a man?” Lexa asked. 

“Yes,” Clarke answered. “We dated all through high school.” 

“Really?” she asked. “What happened?” 

“You’re asking me personal questions when you refuse to answer any of mine?” Clarke asked. 

“I won’t ask anything else about it then,” Lexa said. “Let me drive you home. I have to pick up my dress and get ready.” 

“Yeah,” Clarke said. “Let’s go.” 

* * *

Clarke turned a few times in her small bathroom mirror. She spotted the painting of Lexa’s eyes she had completed in the background. She had no idea what to do with it. Hanging it on the wall was not an option. She did not want to list it for sale, but that seemed like the safest option. She could not let Lexa see it. It would make her seem like a stalker or something. Plus, every time she saw it before bed, she dreamed of the warrior Lexa she had created in her mind. 

Alie was already on a rampage when Clarke arrived. She had hoped this opening would go as smoothly as the last one, but it appeared that this one would not be easy. The caterers were not the problem this time. Apparently, Clarke had forgotten to call about getting a wall repaired in time. Alie had never told her about the hole though. 

“We could just hang a painting in front of it,” Clarke suggested. 

“Do whatever you want,” Alie said, waving her hand. “This opening it going to be a disaster either way.” 

Clarke watched her escape into her back office. She did not come out again until the guests started to arrive. It was frustrating and overwhelming to have to complete the finishing touches alone, but she managed to get through it somehow. She was straightening the last painting, leaning against the wall, when the first group arrived. 

“Welcome,” Alie said with a friendly smile. The sight made Clarke nauseous. 


	23. Chapter 23

Lexa was running very late. The art show had started an hour and a half ago. She parked her car and climbed out, being very careful not to let her dress drag the ground. The show was still happening, but people had started to end their nights. When she finally found Clarke, she was drinking champagne in the back of the room and talking to a young couple. Lexa waited until she was alone to approach her.

“Hey,” Lexa said. “Where can I get a drink?”

Lexa looked around for a caterer before meeting Clarke’s eyes. The blonde did not look happy. Lexa grabbed two glasses from the tray as the caterer came by. She held the fresh glass up to Clarke’s face. 

“Here,” she said.

Clarke rolled her eyes and gave the caterer her empty glass. “Thanks, Tim,” she said to him. 

Lexa watched the caterer, Tim, over the rim of her glass. It unnerved her the way he was eyeing Clarke. 

“I’m assuming something happened to make you so late?” Clarke asked.

“Dad called,” Lexa said. “Something happened at one of the warehouses. He needed my help.”

“Oh,” she said. “Sorry. Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” Lexa said. “Part of the warehouse caught on fire. No one was hurt. Thankfully.”

“I’m glad everyone’s okay,” she said. “Your dress is very nice by the way. And it fits you perfectly.”

Lexa laughed at that, about to comment, when Alie approached Clarke. “Well, I guess this night wasn’t a total disaster,” she said. “Everyone noticed the terrible wall. I’ll need you to call someone about that first thing Monday morning. And don’t make the same mistake again. I can put it down in writing this time if you need me to.”

“N-no,” Clarke said, quickly. Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. “I’ll call someone on Monday.”

“Great,” Alie replied with an obviously fake, disrespectful grin. 

Lexa glared at the back of the woman’s head as she walked away. She was not going to say anything. But when she looked over at Clarke, the blonde was obviously stressed and embarrassed. She wondered what Alie would have said had Lexa not been there. 

“I don’t think we’ve met,” Lexa said, quickly catching up to Clarke’s boss. She plastered on a smile. “You must be Alie Franco. Hi.”

Alie turned and looked annoyed or bored. Maybe both. “Yes, I am,” she said. “And who are you?”

“Lexa Woods,” she replied, shaking Alie’s hand.

“Woods?” Alie asked. “Any relation to Daniel Woods?”

“He’s my father,” Lexa said. 

The woman’s attitude immediately changed. Lexa was used to this kind of reaction and she was happy to use it to Clarke’s advantage. They talked for a moment about how she would soon be taking over as CEO. 

“I don’t mean to pry, but what brings you here tonight?” Alie asked.

“Oh, I’m here with Clarke,” Lexa replied. “She’s told me a bit about you.”

Lexa could see that Alie was looking between them now, probably trying to guess what their exact relationship was. Lexa was glad to keep her in the dark on this one. It did not help that Lexa was not exactly sure of how she would classify their relationship anyway. 

“Yes, well... let me know if you need anything,” Alie said with another fake smile. 

As soon as the woman was gone, Clarke turned to face her. “Why the hell did you do that?” she asked, whispering angrily.

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, feigning ignorance. “I was just introducing myself to your boss.”

“Oh, yeah right,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Don’t act innocent.”

Lexa smiled. “She was mean to you,” she said. “I don’t like that. It's annoying to me. Is that not allowed? Am I not allowed to be annoyed at someone who is mean?”

“Would you have said anything if she had done the same thing to one of the caterer’s?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe,” Lexa said. “Maybe not for  _ Tim _ .”

Lexa could not read Clarke’s expression now and she wondered why she had said anything about the caterer at all. She just really did not like the way he looked at Clarke. After a moment, Clarke  lifted her glass to her lips . 

“How long until you can leave?” Lexa asked. 

“ It shouldn’t be long now,” Clarke said. “You can go at any time.” 

“ Aren’t you coming over tonight?” she asked. 

“ I was planning on going home but I can if you want me to,” Clarke replied. “Did you want me to?” 

“You weren’t planning on going home alone,” Lexa said. She trailed her fingers up Clarke’s arm gently. 

“I’ll meet you at your apartment,” Clarke said, smiling. “How does that sound?” 

“Much better than you going home alone,” she said. 


	24. Chapter 24

Clarke was lying awake when she remembered the conversation Lexa had with her boss that night. She looked over at the woman, asleep, and felt an odd feeling in her chest. Lexa had been protective of her earlier. Clarke stared up at the ceiling as she thought about what that could mean for them. Maybe their relationship was more than a fling. Did Lexa think about her when they were apart like Clarke did?  All of these thoughts overwhelmed her as she tried to  relax enough to fall asleep.

Eventually, she found that sleeping would be impossible. Clarke climbed out of the bed as quietly and smoothly as she could. Once up, Clarke got dressed and left the room. She closed the door behind herself so as not to wake Lexa up. 

Mike, the doorman, nodded at her as she walked past him in the lobby. Once outside, Clarke felt better and worse. She had been looking forward to sleeping in Lexa’s comfortable bed. This was a better choice. Leaving would prove to herself that this was only a sexual relationship and nothing more. Sleeping beside Lexa so often was not good for their arrangement. Yesterday had been a fluke. It had felt like a date but was not. Drinking mimosas on Saturday morning and walking through the city was something couples did together.

As Clarke walked toward the main road to catch a cab, she reminded herself that Lexa was not her girlfriend. The past week with her had blurred those lines a little bit. They texted while Lexa was out of town, even talked on the phone a few times, and then spent the entire weekend together. It was time for Clarke to take back her life. She still had dreams and goals to accomplish. The sex was a good distraction but that was all it was.

When she got back to her apartment, Clarke pulled out a blank canvas from behind her TV stand. She stayed up into the early hours of the morning painting. Once done, she felt a million times better. Clarke had always been good at expressing her emotions externally. 

Clarke stared at the painting for a long time. She was lying in bed as she looked at it across the room, leaning against the wall beside the door. She decided to throw it away as soon as she woke up the next morning. It broke her heart to look at the painting of the two of them. It did not show faces, only the backs of their silhouettes, but Clarke’s heart hurt just to look at the painting. Before she could sleep, Clarke turned it backwards so she could no longer see their hands laced together.

* * *

Lexa:  _ When did you leave? _

Clarke:  _ Last night after you fell asleep _

Lexa:  _ Ok _

Clarke stared at the message for a while before putting her phone away. For some reason, Clarke felt that Lexa was upset. But that could not be it, she decided. 

Some days, Clarke wished she had never married Finn. But marrying young had taught her many important lessons. She needed to make a life for herself and not rely on someone else. Clarke had so many goals in life and was strong enough to accomplish them by herself. Being married at the age of nineteen had proven that life was not defined by rudimentary deadlines other people create. When she graduated high school, Clarke thought she must be settled down. She would graduate college like everyone else does and then have babies. It was set in stone. The worst part of Finn cheating was that Clarke truly had loved him. 

But that was in another life. Looking back on it now, Clarke wondered how she had ever been so in love with him. He treated her like shit and he never supported her dreams. Somehow, Finn had manipulated her into understanding and, even worse, agreeing with him. Her dreams had not been as important as his. 

Clarke’s cell phone rang, breaking her depressive train of thought, and she grabbed it from her bed. Her heart sank when she saw Alie’s name on her screen. “Hello?” she asked. 

“Clarke,” Alie said. “Would you be interested in holding an opening for your paintings?”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“I saw the paintings on your website, and I think they are quite good,” she said. “I think you’d do well to host an opening here.”

“At the gallery?” she asked. “I... I would love to.”

“Great,” she replied. “You can plan all the details yourself. It could be in two weeks at the earliest. Can you have enough pieces ready by then?”

“Yes, I’ll make it work,” Clarke said. “Thanks so much, Alie.”

Her boss hung up without replying but Clarke was in much too good of a mood to care. Finally, Clarke would have the opportunity to show off her work. She would be able to prove to her parents that she was  _ good _ . If Alie saw her work and liked it, Clarke knew other people would feel the same way. Alie might be mean and extremely disrespectful, but she knew art and that is all Clarke cared about right now. 

Clarke:  _ Alie wants me to host an opening of my paintings!! _

Lexa:  _ That’s great, Clarke _

On a normal day, Clarke would have rolled her eyes at Lexa’s use of her name in a text. But right now, she found in endearing. She was much too excited to worry about her feelings for Lexa, too. She knew these next few weeks were going to be hectic and exhausting, but all her hard work would be worth it. At least, that is what Clarke hoped for. 


	25. Chapter 25

Lexa spent that Sunday preparing for her new position at  PaTech . Her father’s plan was to slowly give Lexa more responsibilities as the weeks went by until she was capable of handling everything on her own. Lexa had a feeling that would be sooner than he expected. The faster she could get rid of Echo, the better. Echo liked to hang around the office sometimes, but Lexa had not had to be around it thus far.

Monday was different though. Instead of flying out to whatever city she was responsible for, she drove into town to  PaTech headquarters. She could feel the looks she was getting. Word must have spread of her new position. 

“There’s my little girl,” Daniel said as she entered his office.

“What?” Lexa asked, confused.

“I’m just really glad that you’re here,” he said, putting his hands on her shoulders. 

Her father had not called her anything other than her name in years. The words made her sad because Lexa knew his sweet name calling had nothing to do with her. Daniel was in a good mood because of Echo and their baby. She forced herself to not think of it.

Lexa stepped away from him. “I’ll be in my office,” she said. 

Much to her surprise, Daniel followed her out of his office and down the hall. “Would you like to know the gender of your little sibling?” he asked.

“I’m assuming you want me to know,” she said, pushing open the door. 

“It’s a boy,” he said. “Isn’t that amazing?”

“I guess so,” Lexa said. “Boy or girl. Fifty-fifty chance.”

“No, I just mean because... I'll get the chance to have both,” he said. “Why are you in such a bad mood?”

“I’m not,” she said. “You’re right. It’s amazing.”

“I know you’re upset about me seeing Echo,” Daniel said.

“You think I give shit about Echo?” Lexa asked. “News flash. I don’t. It’s great that you’re happy with someone. I’m glad you gave me this position. I’m sick of traveling anyway.”

“Maybe we should... try the therapy thing again,” Daniel suggested.

Lexa groaned as she sat down behind her desk. “I’m not doing therapy,” she said. “I’m happy for you. I’m happy for Echo. I’m so glad you’re having a son. Happy now?”

“Lexa,” he said, sighing. “I love you, okay? I think you’re going to do a wonderful job and there’s no one else in the world I would want to take over for me. You’re still my favorite girl.”

Lexa held back her eye roll. She forced a tight grin and nodded once. “Love you too,” she replied. “I should probably get to work now.”

When he was finally gone, Lexa felt worse. She should have tried harder to be happier for him. Instead of worrying about it even more, she grabbed her phone from her pocket. 

Lexa:  _ Want to have car sex on our lunch break? _

Clarke:  _ I’m super behind on my paintings but I can probably give you ten minutes if you can make that work _

Lexa:  _ Forget it _

Her phone rang a few seconds later. “What?” Lexa asked.

“Well, that answers my first question,” Clarke said. “You’re upset.”

“I’m not upset,” Lexa said. “I just thought it would be fun to hook up during the day for once.”

“I do want that,” Clarke said. “Are you coming here?”

“Yes, I’ll be at the gallery at noon,” she said.

* * *

Lexa parked on the curb outside of the gallery at exactly noon. Clarke stepped out of the building and rushed through the rain. She pushed her hood back once in the safety of Lexa’s car. There was something exciting about seeing Clarke’s dark eyes and wet hair. 

“The weather is perfect for this,” Clarke said, turning in her seat to face Lexa. She pulled her legs under her as Lexa drove off to find somewhere to park. 

Lexa finally stopped in an alley a few blocks away. She reached over and placed her hand on Clarke’s thigh. Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but Lexa kissed her instead. She took the hint and climbed into the backseat. Lexa followed.

“You’re so hot,” Lexa said, kissing down her neck. 

Clarke moaned softly. “You’ve never said that before,” she whispered, breathlessly. 

“Well, it’s true,” she replied. 

Lexa only stopped to pull off Clarke’s shirt. Her mouth was on the woman’s neck and chest again as she unbuttoned her pants. It was awkward in the small space of her backseat, but she managed to push them down her legs. 

Once she finished, Lexa felt better. They redressed still in the backseat before climbing to the front. She could feel Clarke’s stares as they drove back to the gallery.

“Thanks for picking me up,” Clarke said. “I guess I’ll see you at some other point this week.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she said, shrugging. 

Lexa heard Clarke sigh as she got out. There was a part of her who wanted to run after Clarke and explain, but the larger part of herself would not allow that to happen. She was much too prideful to admit to Clarke the emptiness she felt.

Thankfully, Lexa did not have to talk to her father again that day. She watched him walk across the parking lot, his hand in Echo’s, to go home. Echo must be living with him full time now. It made sense.

“Oh, good,” Anya said, the second Lexa came through the door. “You’re home. I have some news.”

Lexa went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a clean wine glass. She poured herself a glass from the bottle in the fridge. 

“I’m moving out,” Anya said. 

Lexa stared at her as if she had misheard. She had not even thought about Anya moving out recently. “What?” she asked.

“I’m moving out,” she repeated. “I found the cutest little apartment. It’s perfect for me and it’s directly beside the restaurant.”

“Great,” Lexa replied. “I’m happy for you.”

“Doesn’t sound like it,” Anya said.

“An, I am,” Lexa said. “That’s really great. I’m sure it’s nice.”

“Well, it’s not nearly as nice as this place but it’s pretty good,” she said. 

“I’m going to take a bath,” Lexa said. 

“Lexa, what’s going on?” Anya asked. “Do you not like your new job?”

“Why does everyone think something is wrong?” she asked, angrily. “Can't I have one bad day without everyone jumping down my back?”

“Fine,” she said, holding her hands up innocently. 

Lexa locked herself in the bathroom for the next two hours. By the time she crawled into bed, she felt a little bit better. She ignored the longing she felt for someone to join her in bed. It took her a while to fall  asleep but slept dreamlessly when she finally did. 


	26. Chapter 26

Clarke did not hear from Lexa again throughout the week. She barely had time to notice with how busy she was preparing for her show. Every time she thought about the opening, Clarke felt nauseous with nerves. It was not until Friday that she thought she could really use a distraction from the constant stress. Her left wrist ached from the intensity she was holding her paintbrush.

Clarke:  _ Are  _ _ you _ _ busy tonight? _

Lexa:  _ No _

Clarke:  _ Want to hang out? _

Lexa:  _ Sure, want me to come over? _

Clarke would be lying if she said she was not a little disappointed in their arrangement right now. She desperately wanted to go out to a bar or go to dinner. But that was not a part of the deal.

Clarke:  _ I’ll come to you _

Lexa:  _ Looking forward to it _

The text did not sit well with her. It reminded her of the day Lexa picked her up from work. Lexa had not been in a good mood. Something must have happened to make her need sex so badly. 

Clarke caught an Uber to  Lexa’s apartment building. Milke let her in immediately and smiled politely. The fact that Lexa’s doorman was so familiar with her gave Clarke an odd feeling. Things felt like they were moving too quickly . On the way up to Lexa’s apartment, Clarke had to remind herself that they were not in a real relationship. 

Lexa had a  whiskey in her hand, of course, as she sat on the couch. Clarke threw her jacket on the chair by the door. She had no idea why it was there other than to hold her jackets. Again, she felt odd.

“What are you watching?” Clarke asked, sitting beside her on the couch. 

“New vampire show,” Lexa replied. 

“Didn’t know you liked stuff like that,” she said.

Lexa shrugged and sipped her drink. “It’s alright,” she said.

“How was your first week as acting CEO?” Clarke asked.

“Oh, marvelous,” Lexa said in a tone that implied the opposite. “It’s awesome to walk in and see my father having sex with his  pregnant, twenty-eight-year-old girlfriend on a desk.”

“Oh, Lexa...” Clarke said.

Lexa paused as her drink was halfway to her mouth and looked over at Clarke with a raised eyebrow. “What the hell was that tone?” she asked. “You feel sorry for me?”

“What?” Clarke asked. “I just meant that it sucks.”

“Right,” she said, rolling her eyes. 

Lexa finished her drink and stood to, presumably, refill her glass. Clarke watched the way she seemed to stumble to the bar. Lexa’s alcohol intake was starting to worry her.

“How much have you had to drink?” Clarke asked.

“Why?” she asked, tipping the whiskey bottle over to fill her glass halfway. 

“I’m just curious,” Clarke said, shrugging.

“I’ve only had a few,” Lexa said. 

“Maybe you should stop for the night and we can go back to your room,” Clarke suggested. She wagged her eyebrows suggestively.

“Why are you suddenly bossing me around?” she asked. “I’m allowed to have a drink. I’ve had a stressful week.”

“Lexa, I’m not bossing you around,” Clarke argued. “I would just like you to be  conscious when we have sex later.”

“You’re suddenly unsatisfied with our sex life?” she asked.

Clarke tried to read Lexa’s body language. She seemed to be teasing from her tone but her facial expressions suggested otherwise. The words ‘our sex life’ made heat blossom in her chest. It was the one thing they did share that resembled a relationship. Clarke was slightly surprised by her feelings about that. 

“No,” Clarke replied. “Forget it, Lexa.”

Lexa rolled her eyes but poured another whiskey. Clarke watched her for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together in concentration, as she tried to figure out how to approach Lexa’s feelings.  Obviously, the woman was stressed or upset  about something. 

“ Lex, come sit by me,” Clarke said. 

“Before you ask, I don’t want to talk,” Lexa said. “I know that tone.”

Lexa sat down beside her on the couch and sipped her drink. “Maybe talking would be good for you,” she said, pulling her legs underneath herself on the couch. She sighed as she looked at Lexa beside her. “What happened at work this week?”

“Well, let’s see,” Lexa said, tapping her chin sarcastically. “I drove to work. I spent ten hours working and then I drove home.”

“You’re being extremely difficult,” Clarke said. 

“I’m being difficult?” Lexa asked. “You’re the one acting like we’re on a fucking date.”

Clarke was taken aback by her words and tone. She opened her mouth to argue but it was true. They were not on a date right now as blurred as the lines had become. Clarke was not thinking clearly.  The upcoming gallery was messing with her head. 

Instead of continuing the conversation, Clarke took the drink from her head. She put it on the table before straddling her lap. Lexa was the one who kissed her first. They were a mess of moans and half removed clothing for a long time. Clarke wrapped her bare legs around Lexa’s waist and moaned out when the woman’s mouth connected with her neck. 

“I want you,” Clarke whispered. “So badly.”

“You have me,” she mumbled into her skin. 

The words sent chills down her spine. It did not feel like she had Lexa even in the physical sense most days, but right now she did. Lexa was with Clarke and no one else at this moment. Lexa wanted her tonight.

“Lexa,” she moaned. Clarke reached down and pulled her shirt off. She threw it across the room, not caring at all that one of Lexa’s wall was made entirely of glass, and Clarke started kissing her once more. 

* * *

Clarke was dragging her fingers up and down Lexa’s thigh a few hours later. She was exhausted and relaxed. She wanted to take a shower but was much too lazy to move off Lexa. They were laid across the couch, spent.

“I  told Alie about your paintings,” Lexa said. 

“What?” Clarke asked, sitting up.

“Technically, it’s  PaTech who is sponsoring your gallery opening,” Lexa  said. She grabbed the glass of whiskey from the table, not even caring that it was now warm, and finished it. 

Clarke pushed herself off the couch, off Lexa’s body, and collected her clothes. She dressed quickly. Lexa sat up fully. There  was genuine surprise on her face.

“Where are you going?” Lexa asked. 

“ I'm leaving,” Clarke said. 

“You’re mad?” she asked.

“Yes, Lexa,” Clarke said, grabbing her jacket. “I’m mad.”

“I was trying to help you,” Lexa said as she pulled her jeans up her legs. 

“I never asked for your help,” she said. “I’m not a fucking charity case. Don’t... don’t call me.”

“Oh, so we’re done now?” Lexa asked.

“Done with what?” Clarke asked before slamming Lexa’s apartment door closed. 

Clarke decided to walk home. It was thirty  blocks, but she did not care. Her heart was pounding the entire walk home. 

For the first time in her life, Clarke thought someone  appreciated her art. She felt like an idiot for thinking that now.  Of course, it was Lexa who got her the great opportunity. Even worse, Lexa used her money to do it. It had nothing to do with Clarke’s paintings in Alie’s eyes. All the women saw was money.

Clarke wiped the tears from her cheeks when she finally arrived at her apartment. She avoided her paintings in the corner and threw herself into her bed. She cried for so many reasons. 


	27. Chapter 27

A week went by without Lexa talking once to Clarke. Her art gallery opening was supposed to be tomorrow but Alie had canceled it Monday. Apparently, the artist had backed out. Lexa had thought she was doing something nice. She had the means to help Clarke out and Lexa was confident that Clarke could be successful if more people saw her paintings. 

On Lexa’s lunch break, she decided to walk to the gallery. She knocked on the door when she found it to be locked. It was finally opened by Alie. The woman had an odd expression on her face when she realized it was Lexa at the door. 

“She doesn’t work for me anymore,” Alie said before locking the door again. 

Lexa:  _ You quit your job? _

When Lexa’s workday ended and she still had not heard back from Clarke, she debated going to her apartment. Even though her intentions were good, Lexa felt like she had screwed up somehow. 

Instead of heading to the west side of Manhattan, Lexa drove to her own apartment. She had no responsibilities for Clarke’s feelings.  _ Right? _ It just did not make sense in her mind for Clarke to be so upset. Lexa had given her the opportunity of a lifetime. So many artists in this town would kill for the opening Clarke could have had. The worst part, Clarke had cancelled and then quit her job altogether.

Lexa drunk herself into a stupor that night. She missed Clarke in her drunken state. Her body missed Clarke, but her heart missed her more. It did not make sense. Lexa drowned her feelings in whiskey.

Clarke:  _ I got a new job _

Lexa:  _ Why _

Clarke:  _ Because I wanted to _

Lexa:  _ Ni  _ _ yo _ __ _ didnt _

Clarke:  _ Are you drunk? _

Lexa:  _ Ni _

Lexa:  _ no _

Clarke:  _ Where are you? _

Lexa:  _ Hom _

Clarke:  _ Good _

The text made her heart hurt even more. Clarke did not like when she drank this much. She never said those exact words, but Lexa could tell. 

Lexa:  _ Come over _

Clarke:  _ No thanks _

Lexa felt stupid tears in her eyes as she read the text over and over. She almost threw her phone across the room.

Lexa:  _ Are  _ _ w _ _ done _

Clarke:  _ You can call over one of your girls, Lexa. I know that’s why you’re asking. _

Lexa passed out with her phone in her hand. She had not even had the time to call one of the girls she had slept with before Clarke. 

* * *

When Lexa woke up the next morning, she felt like she was dying. She did not remember the texts with Clarke until she read through them. She groaned which made her head hurt even worse. After throwing up in the shower a few times, she felt better. Even though her head and stomach felt better, her heart did not. 

With Anya gone, Lexa spent her weekend working. She sat on her couch with her laptop open on her lap for the entire day. It was a nice distraction from the disaster that was her entire life. To make matters worse, Lexa saw pictures of her father and Echo on social media. She noticed the ring on her left hand immediately. Maybe she had been expecting it. 

Lexa’s stomach started growling around six that night. She had not eaten anything all day. Lexa threw a jacket on before leaving her apartment. She called in a takeout order from her  favorite Italian place as she walked there. The fresh air made her feel better.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked when she entered the restaurant. “You’re working  _ here _ ?”

The blonde turned and rolled her eyes when she saw Lexa. “I’ll get your food,” she said. 

A few minutes later, Clarke came back with a bag. She handed it over. “Goodbye,” Clarke said with huge, fake smile. 

Lexa had not fully appreciated her beauty when she had the chance. “Can we please... talk?” she asked.

“No, thanks,” Clarke said, leaning against the hostess stand. 

Lexa was not in the mood to fight. She was also still feeling hungover. There was a stabbing pain behind her eyes from staring at a computer screen all day. She stared at Clarke for another moment, who was  suddenly very interested in her phone, before leaving. She realized she was not even hungry anymore.

Lexa had no idea how she was going to pay her bills working at a restaurant. She suddenly remembered the blonde’s website. The bag fell from her hand when she saw the new paintings Clarke had just posted. Her eyes must be playing tricks on her. 

The most recent paintings seem to feature Lexa. There was one of their backs, walking toward a sunset, and others of just her eyes. It was maddening because it did not feel possible. The alcohol had  worn off hours ago. Clarke had  painted pictures of Lexa. She had painted pictures of the two of them together. And now they were for sale.

Lexa bought the three paintings  featuring herself. She did not even bother buying them under a fake name this time.


	28. Chapter 28

Clarke would be lying if she told anyone that she was happy right now. She worked, at least, twelve hours a day. Her shifts at the restaurant normally lasted eight hours and then she worked at a  jewelry store by her apartment. Thankfully, she had known the owner and he was willing to work around her schedule. Clarke knew he had given her the job in hopes that she would eventually date him. 

Since Lexa tried to buy her paintings, Clarke had not heard from her. She was thankful for that. Clarke was not ready to talk about her feelings. Something worse than having to talk about feelings was to imagine her paintings in Lexa’s apartment. She cancelled the order and  accepted the second job two weeks ago. 

There was a part of her that wanted Lexa to come into the restaurant when she was working. The larger part wanted Lexa to stay away. It was hard to admit to herself that she was embarrassed but there was no other word to describe it. She spent a week in a state of bliss, thinking that someone had finally appreciated her for the artist that she knew she could be, and let her feelings about the opening had got mixed up with her feelings for Lexa. She had briefly thought she was falling for Lexa. 

Even if that were true, Lexa would never settle down with Clarke. She had known that since the start of their sexual relationship which is why they never went on proper dates. Lexa called when she wanted her body and that was all. Lexa seemed to have no qualms with sleeping around, so Clarke had been the one to insist they only sleep with each other. But that was over now. Lexa had surely slept with any woman she could find by now. 

Clarke sighed in relief when she finally laid down in her bed. The restaurant had asked her to stay a few extra hours tonight. She appreciated it because it had earned her an extra two hundred dollars in tips, but she was exhausted. Her eyes landed in the pile of paintings she had not had the strength to throw away. Her parents had been right all along. 

When Clarke had quit the gallery, Alie had seemed  genuinely upset. Cancelling the opening had hurt her more, but Clarke was a good worker. Her quitting could not compare to losing all the money had had lost to Clarke cancelling her show. Come to find out,  PaTech had offered the gallery five thousand dollars on top of paying for everything for Clarke’s show. The realization had only made Clarke feel worse. 

On top of all that, Lexa had not even tried to reach out to her. Lexa would never understand how she felt anyway. Lexa had never worried about money in her life. She would not understand how insulting it had been for Lexa to throw money at Clarke’s problems. 

“Well, looks who’s finally home,” Raven said as she entered Clarke’s apartment.

Clarke wanted to kick herself at forgetting to lock the door. She was in no mood for visitors right now. “I’m too tired to hang out, Rae,” she said, turning away from her.

Raven laid her takeout bag down on the counter and then crawled into bed with Clarke. She wrapped an arm around her best friend’s waist. “I wish you would tell me what happened to make you so upset,” she said. 

“I’m not upset,” Clarke said. “I’m just tired.”

“Yeah, because you’re working nonstop,” she said. “I bet you haven’t even had time to see that girl you were sleeping with.  Lexa, wasn’t it? The one with the hot friend?”

Clarke tensed at the words. She had almost forgotten about their brunch together.

“I knew it,” Raven said. “Something happened with her. Is she the reason your show got cancelled?”

“No,” she said. “Lexa was the reason it was happening at all.”

Raven sighed and tightened her grip around Clarke. “You’re a damn good artist, Clarke,” she said. 

“Can we just sleep?” Clarke asked.

Clarke closed her eyes and tried to force sleep to come. The darkness outside was nice but the sounds below kept her up. She kept forgetting to buy blackout curtains since they apparently helped with the sound too.

Raven fell asleep easily, but Clarke could not. She wanted to hear Lexa’s voice so badly right now. But she could not bear to know Lexa was sleeping with someone else. It was what Lexa did. She used sex to deal with any emotion she  felt, and Clarke had enjoyed it while she was the one enjoying the benefits. It was no longer her Lexa called. She was going to have to find a way to deal with that. 

* * *

“Clarke, you’ve got table four,” her boss said.

Clarke nodded and shoved the pen back into the apron around her waist. “On it,” she called as she pushed through the kitchen doors. 

The second she did, Clarke wanted to run back through them. She wanted to hide. Lexa was sitting at the table, texting on her phone, and looked up when Clarke got closer. Her heart ached when their eyes met.

“Lexa, what the hell are you doing here?” Clarke asked.

“I want to talk to you,” she said. “And I figured you wouldn’t respond to my calls or texts.”

“You didn’t even try,” Clarke said. 

“Well, maybe I wanted to talk to you in person,” Lexa replied, shrugging. 

“Lexa, please just go,” she begged. “I’m trying to work here. I can’t lose this job.”

If Clarke did not know Lexa better, she would have guessed there was sadness in her eyes. But that was impossible. Her feelings from the night before came back. The same feelings that were giving her insomnia. There were so many reasons why she did not want to talk to Lexa right now. She was afraid that her feelings would become words.

“I’ll only leave if you promise to meet me somewhere else,” Lexa said. “I could come to your apartment after you get off work.”

“No,” Clarke said. “There’s nothing I want to say to you.”

“I have a feeling that you’re lying,” she said. “But fine. I can’t force you to talk to me. I’ll have a c aesar salad to start.”

Clarke sighed, mostly from frustration. “Fine,” she said. “We can meet somewhere. How about you meet me outside of here at eleven. That's when I get off. You can walk me home.”

Lexa  smiled and it was genuine. “Thank you,” she said. Lexa stood. “I’ll be here at exactly eleven.”

Clarke watched her leave. As soon as Lexa was gone, relief filled her entire being. She had no idea what she was going to say tonight but she knew she was going to feel anxious the rest of her shift.


	29. Chapter 29

By the time Lexa arrived at the restaurant once more, Clarke was already waiting outside on the sidewalk for her. Lexa felt bad for making her wait. 

“Hey,” Lexa said. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” she asked. 

“For being willing to talk to me,” Lexa replied. “To be honest, I was scared you had given me the wrong time just to get me to leave.” 

Clarke started to walk toward her apartment, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. “I thought about it,” she said, honestly. “But you would have come back anyway.” 

“That’s true,” Lexa said, chuckling. “I just think that... we should talk about everything that happened. I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me.” 

“You don’t know why?” she asked. 

Lexa looked over at her then and realized Clarke had stopped walking. She was staring at her with a slack jaw and her eyebrows drawn together tightly. Lexa felt dumb, by the looks she was getting from Clarke, for not understanding Clarke better. How could she had fucked up so badly without even trying? 

“No,” Lexa said honestly. “Is it because I talked to Alie? I thought I was helping you.” 

“I didn’t ask for your help, Lexa,” Clarke said. “I don’t _need_ your help.” 

“Clarke, do you even... why did you cancel?” she asked. “Even if you were mad at me, you still should have done it.” 

“Why?” Clarke asked. “She didn’t want me for any other reason besides money.” 

“But... other people could have seen your work,” Lexa argued. “Alie doesn’t matter. The other people matter.” 

“You don’t understand,” Clarke said. She shook her head and Lexa’s heart broke when she saw tears on Clarke’s cheeks. 

“Then explain it to me,” Lexa said. She was begging now. 

Clarke wiped her cheeks, just now realizing she had cried, and sighed. “I’m exhausted, Lexa,” she said. “I just really want to go home. You don’t have to worry about me anymore, okay?” 

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked. 

“I mean that you can do whatever you want... with whoever you want,” Clarke said. 

“Clarke... I haven’t had sex in three weeks,” Lexa said. 

Clarke seemed surprised by this and Lexa had a hard time believing it herself. Saying it out loud made it true. To be honest, Lexa had barely had time to worry about hooking up with work and the drama going on with Clarke. 

“Have you?” Lexa asked. 

“What? No,” Clarke replied. “For one thing, I don’t have the time to. I’m working two jobs now since I quit the gallery. And for two... I don’t really want to.” 

“I don’t really want to either,” Lexa said. 

Clarke’s shoulders slumped. She looked more than exhausted. There were bags under her eyes. “What are we doing, Lexa?” Clarke asked. “We aren’t... we only sleep with each other. We spend every weekend together. What are we _doing_?” 

“We’re... what did you call it? Friends with benefits,” Lexa said, motioning between them. 

Clarke rubbed her tired eyes and looked behind her, down the street. Lexa had no idea what she was looking for and had a feeling Clarke did not know either. “Right,” she said. “Yes, friends with benefits. Because all friends with benefits pay five thousand dollars to support the other’s art show and... they all paint pictures of each other. You're right. All causal relationships are like this.” 

Lexa swallowed thickly. She felt like the world was caving in on her. Like somehow Clarke could see through her exterior. There was no way this beautiful woman felt anything for someone like Lexa. It just did not make sense to her. How could Clarke fall for someone without a soul? 

“Maybe we can just... ignore that part,” Lexa said. 

“See?” Clarke asked. “How do you even think that’s possible? How can you just hide your feelings all the time?” 

“I don’t have feelings,” she lied. The words sounded stupid even to Lexa’s own ears. 

“Well, I do,” Clarke said, sadly. “Tell me the truth. Just answer yes or no. Do you see yourself... being with me? I mean, officially.” 

Lexa thought about it as she stared into Clarke’s eyes. Of course, she had imagined them being together. How could anyone look at Clarke and not imagine themselves being with her forever? But Lexa could not be with anyone in the long term. She had hurt every single person she had ever loved. 

“No,” Lexa said honestly. 

Lexa’s already shattered heart was stomped on by the sadness written all over Clarke’s face now. She wished she could lie and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but it was impossible. 

“I... I’ll only hurt you, Clarke,” Lexa said. “It’s what I do.” 

“I don’t care about whatever happened a long time ago or with your dad,” she said. Clarke stepped forward and reached her hand out. “Please, Lexa. I just... I’m just asking you to try.” 

As Lexa stared down at Clarke’s hand, so many thoughts ran through her brain. She thought about waking up beside Clarke on Sunday mornings. Lexa imagined taking Clarke to Paris where she could be surrounded by beautiful art. Lexa could see the expression on Clarke’s face when she proposed... 

But just as quickly as those images arrived, they were replaced by the image of Clarke leaving. Lexa felt the pain brought on by loving someone and having them leave. It reminded her of the feelings she felt when she thought of her mother. There was no greater pain in the world than losing someone you loved in Lexa’s opinion. The possibility terrified her.

“Clarke... I can’t,” Lexa said. There were tears in her own eyes from all the emotions stirred up inside of her now. “I’m not... I’m not made for relationships. Not the kind that you deserve.” 

After staring at Lexa for a long time, Clarke waved down a passing taxi. It parked on the curb and Lexa did not step forward to stop her. It was for the best after all. Her heart could not take more loss. It would surely kill her this time.

“I can’t force you into a relationship,” Clarke said, her hand on the car door. “But I can’t keep sleeping with you and ignoring my own feelings. I’m sorry. I wish I could. I really do. Goodbye, Lexa.” 

Lexa watched Clarke pull open the car door. “Clarke, wait,” Lexa said. She closed the distance between Clarke and kissed her. “Don’t leave.” 

Clarke, breathlessly, looked up at her. The taxi driver said an expletive, Lexa was sure, and drove off. Despite the fear that was now paralyzing her, Lexa could not let Clarke go. 

“I... I’m sorry,” Lexa said. “I... I do want to try. I can’t... I can’t promise you anything. And I'm terrified.” 

“I’m scared, too,” Clarke admitted. Clarke opened her mouth to say something else, but Lexa could not keep from kissing her. 


	30. Chapter 30

Clarke promised herself that she was not going to sleep with Lexa that night. If they wanted their relationship to work, it needed to be more than physical. But when Lexa walked her home, Clarke asked her to come upstairs anyway. After all, it had been three weeks without touching her at all.  She planned on just kissing her for a while and then hopefully cuddling her until they both fell asleep. 

But when they lay in bed, naked and spent, Clarke knew she had planned for  _ this  _ all along.  Call Lexa whatever you want, but there was one thing she did  _ very _ well and Clarke fully planned on taking advantage of it now that she could. 

Even  lying next to Lexa sleeping, she could not believe her luck. There was something addicting about Lexa. She understood how  all those girls fell so easily for her charms, but the thought of Lexa being with anyone else made her feel nauseous. She wanted Lexa all to herself now. 

And Clarke fully planned on making that a reality. 

“You’re staring,” Lexa mumbled. 

Clarke must have woken her when she turned on her other side. “You have a pretty back,” she said, tracing the tattoos there. She ran her finger gently up Lexa’s spine which made her shiver. 

“A pretty back?” Lexa asked. She turned her head to look at Clarke. Lexa was smiling. 

“Will you tell me what all of these tattoos mean?” Clarke asked.

“It doesn’t have some deep meaning,” she replied. Her voice with thick and sleepy, but Clarke needed to hear her right now. “I like astrology.”

“I didn’t know that,” she said. 

“It’s stupid, maybe,” Lexa said. “I don’t even know why I like it.”

“Don’t do that,” Clarke said. She laid down so that her cheek was pressed to Lexa’s back. She stared at the tattoo and ran her fingers over it. “It’s important to you. It’s not stupid.”

Clarke could feel Lexa’s smile even from here. Lexa had been  tense, but she relaxed at her words. 

“I’ve never told anyone that before,” Lexa said. 

“I’m really glad you did,” Clarke said. She wrote their names on Lexa’s back. 

It felt surreal to be her with her right now and she wanted to stay awake just to enjoy it more, but her body was exhausted. She fell asleep to the feeling of Lexa’s chest rising and falling. The sound of her heartbeat really pulled her under...

_ Lexa’s chest felt so good pressed to her back. Clarke moaned as she felt her mouth moving up and down her neck. Work had been long and boring, but it was all worth it to come home to this. Work was not even on her mind any longer. With Lexa’s hands and mouth on her,  _ _ Clarke _ _ was in heaven.  _

_ “You smell so much better than her,” Lexa mumbled into the crook of her neck. _

_ The air left Clarke’s lungs, but she forced herself to stay calm. She must have heard Lexa wrong. “What?’ she asked.  _

_ “You smell so much better than her,” Lexa repeated.  _

_ Clarke pulled away from her girlfriend and turned to face her. “Who?” she asked.  _

_ Lexa smirked and looked towards her bedroom door. Clarke suddenly realized they were in Lexa’s apartment. The door was open. Clarke could barely make out a foot of someone lying on the bed. When she walked closer to see who it was, Clarke had never seen the woman before. She could not even make out a face. But this woman was lying in Lexa’s bed, asleep. _

_ “What did you do?” Clarke asked, swiveling to look at Lexa. “Who is that in your bed?” _

_ “Oh, come on, Clarke,” Lexa said. She walked over to the bar which made Clarke even more upset. She watched her pour a glass of whiskey as she had seen her do so many times before. “You didn’t honestly believe that I was just going to stay here by myself, did you? It's so boring here alone.” _

_ “Lexa, you... you slept with her?” Clarke asked. Her heart was surely breaking and bleeding out in her chest. She had never felt a feeling like this before. _

_ “Of course, I did,” she said. “That’s what I do.” _

_ Clarke looked over at the naked woman once more  _ _ and then _ _ back at her girlfriend. At least,  _ _ Clarke _ _ had thought they were girlfriends. Before Lexa cheated.  _

_ “But... but I thought...” Clarke said, tearfully. There were stupid tears running down her cheeks, uncontrollably.  _

_ “You thought what?” Lexa asked. She moved closer to Clarke now. Lexa’s hand came up to touch her cheek so gently. “You thought I could be  _ _ satisfied _ _ by you and only you?” _

_ “Yes,” Clarke admitted. “I thought we were... together.” _

_ Lexa started to laugh. She laughed so loudly and for so long that Clarke started to cry even harder. Clarke grabbed her hands to make her stop. But Lexa did not. The woman from the bed was now making herself a drink at the bar, naked, and watching the two of them with an expression that could only be described as sexual.  _

_ Clarke was holding her hair, as if to pull it out, as she screamed... _

“Clarke, Clarke, wake up,” Lexa said as Clarke pulled herself out of the nightmare. 

When  Clarke looked over at her, surely looking frantic and crazed, Lexa was staring back with fear and worry. All she could do was shake her head and bury her face in Lexa’s neck. The tears she cried were real, but she knew the feelings were not from a real situation. 

Lexa was here, in her shitty apartment, and holding Clarke like she was the only girl in the world. All Clarke could do was hope Lexa really did feel that way.

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” Clarke said, wiping her eyes. “It was just a stress dream. I’ve been working a lot.”

“Well, we will need to work on that,” Lexa said. “And don’t worry about it. I just... I feel like it had something to do with me. You were mumbling my name. I thought it was a sex dream until you started to scream.”

Clarke looked into Lexa’s eyes. If they had hope of creating a lasting relationship, they must be open and honest with each other. That  included telling each other about their fears. 

“You... you slept with someone else,” Clarke admitted quietly. She hoped Lexa heard her because the words hurt so badly to say out loud.

“Oh,” Lexa said. She put her hand on top of Clarke’s over the comforter. “Well, would it make you feel any better if I make you a promise to never do that?”

“Yes, I think that would make me feel better,” she said. 

Lexa laced their fingers together and squeezed. They turned to face each other in Clarke’s bed with the dark of the night surrounding them.

“Clarke, I promise to never sleep with someone else if we are together,” Lexa said. 

“I want that,” she said. “I want us to be together.”

Clarke watched Lexa swallow thickly and then nod. “I want that, too,” she said. “But... I’m still scared, Clarke. I'm fucking terrified actually.”

“I am, too,” Clarke said. She thought about the  loneliness and sadness she felt seeing the other woman in Lexa’s bed. “But... we have to try. Right?”

“Yes,” Lexa said, nodding. She leaned forward and kissed Clarke, just once. “I want to try. For you, Clarke.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s  neck, and they held each other. There  were still so many fears between them. But if Clarke did not try with Lexa, who meant so much to her, then she would regret it forever.

“So... I can call you my girlfriend?” Clarke asked, grinning.

Lexa chuckled and nodded. “Yes,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am planning on writing a sequel bc their story is not over


End file.
